ODD combined with other disorders (such as ADHD) is an extremely difficult obstacle course - and one that you need to jump through with "leaps and bounds" to understand; looking at it through your child/children's eyes.
We say "Black", they say, "White"..we say, "Isn't that pretty/cute/nice?"...they say, "No, it's ugly"...than, the "Fight" is on...
Then we ask, "Do you want this type or that type of cereal...etc.", they say, "Yes, I want that one..no, I mean I want that one, yes, I want that one"...and again, the "Fight" is on...
Possible solution? Go with their first choice, they will soon realize that both "yours and their" decision is the correct one. "Reality Discipline" goes a long way, instead of using a form of punishment. Discipline proves to be a much better form of structure and they soon will realize what they "can" and "can not" get away with....it is reality!
If we ask them if they want to play with a certain toy or do a certain project and they say, "No", than they follow up with "Yes" and back and forth...go with their first answer. They may be upset and say that you are mean, or that you weren't listening...or all the excuses that they can come up with; but they will soon realize that their first choice is the final outcome (reality).
An excellent resource book is, "How to make our children mind without losing yours" by Dr. Kevin Leman, it provides many different scenarios and helps you to understand how discipline vs. punishment can prove to be quite beneficial. And how encouragement vs. rewards helps you achieve those "leaps and bounds".
Assistance with ODD in Massachusetts: Massachusetts General Hospital
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