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Openness in Adoption

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As an adopted parent I have made many mistakes in how I have related to my children. But one thing I believe I have done exactly right is that of being completely open in the questions my children have asked about their own particular adoption story. This has come from knowing a person from my childhood, who was never told about their own adoption. Even as a child I knew that was wrong. In this article, I have posted three things to consider as you are a newly adopted parent or a seasoned parent in the life of an adopted child.
First, be open to your child for their sake. This is their life and they deserve your openness and honesty. A friend, who was adopted, told me recently she allows knew she was adopted. Throughout her childhood she would ask her mom to tell her the story about the day her and dad picked her up. As she was telling me this a warm glow came over her face. Her mom left a lasting impression in her daughter by being open.
Secondly, be confident in yourself and let them know their story and how you came to this decision to adopt them. Your child wants to know for their own sake. If you do not feel confident about your decision, this happens to be your concern. Please seek help from a trained therapist, so that it does not affect your future relationship with your child. Before my husband and I adopted our children, I had to address my infertility and move on in my emotions. It allowed my heart to heal and be open to what the next step was going to be, which for us was being foster parents.
Lastly, enjoy the discovery of being adopted together. According to my adopted friend, all kids desire to know who were their biological parents are. As they become adults and desire to seek these people out, you will be able to share this experience with your child. Whether it is positive or negative. You will be there as you have been since their adoption. Sharing this experience allows your connection to strengthen and grow.

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