Welcome to a brand new age, where you can find anything online, up to and including your very own soul mate! Technology has truly advanced that much, with more and more people leaving the local singles scene to expand their romantic horizons right from the comfort of home. Power up the PC, log in, and see who might await! I was one among the multitudes of those who are doing just that and I did find a man that is now my husband. It was one of the easiest things in the world to find men interested in dating and forming relationships, but a little trickier to find the one that I actually wanted to share my life with.
In all honesty, even though our marriage is a great thing for us, it wasn't all sunshine and roses. What made matters especially difficult for the two of us was that we lived in seperate states, so ours was primarily a true online romance. We did meet in person after a few months, but even then, there were the normal and natural "first date best behaviors" that kept us from knowing the real people, faults included. We all have them, but they very rarely show themselves on a first date.
Fortunately, he is an airline captain with free flight benefits so we were able to see each other a couple of times a month until we eventually married. Even that isn't really enough to know exactly what you're in for after the nuptials. I didn't realize, for instance, that when we were together during those times, he was in "vacation mode" which was much more laid-back than his typical Type A personality allows for. I was a bit shy and therefore more sedate than I am once I am once I'm really comfortable with a person. Needless to say, we had some adjusting to do once we shared a home and a life together. It was hard work at times, but it was definitely worth it. I have found my soul-mate and you can, too.
As you can see, there are some differences between in-person relationships and those that are initiated and carried out to some extent online. Being aware of these differences as you enter this "virtual" world of dating will help you to make better decisions and build better relationships as you go. From the first step of creating your online profile, to the first contact, to dating, and possibly making a commitment to an online partner, the following tips will assist you to find true love with your soul-mate and not be fooled into something that isn't what you were looking for at all.
*Honesty really is the best policy. When you are creating your profile for other people to view, don't try to sell yourself. This is not a job interview. Instead, think of this as a meeting with someone who has nothing they need from you and whom you have nothing to gain from them yet. Just be real. Be yourself. If you have something that you simply can't stand in a relationship, it is a good idea to mention it. Don't worry about how it may sound to someone who has that character trait, because they aren't going to be the one for you anyways. Mentioning your shortcomings, though not without balancing them with your good points, isn't always a bad thing, either. The person who is right for you may not even see them as shortcomings. You really don't want to meet someone who thinks you are something that you're not anyways since eventually, they will find out and whatever relationship you have developed will most likely come to an end.
*Remember, this is a stranger. There are natural charmers on the internet just like there are in the local watering holes or anywhere else. No matter how nice a person seems online, keep in mind that you really know nothing at all about them. If you find that you are interested in the person, don't feel too bad about doing a little research. You must know a bit about finding things online if you're there for love, so use those same skills to do some investigating before you put your heart on the line.
*Don't be too nice to just say no. It's really not nice at all when you think about what you're doing. If you aren't interested in a person who initiates contact with you, just let them know politely. You aren't doing anyone any favors by stringing them along. It is a waste of their time. Let them move on to someone who is actually interested in them.
*Ask questions and pay attention. Before you make the move to meet in person, ask plenty of questions. Pay close attention to the answers. You are getting to know them but there is also another benefit to this. If someone is prone to lying, they will usually trip up soon enough and you'll have the email message to refer back to for proof. When you catch them in a lie, don't just shrug it off. The lies will continue and you will have your heart broken eventually. Move on from that one and find an honest person who wants to be real with you.
*First dates require safety first. When you do find someone that you are planning a face to face meeting with, keep your safety in mind, first and foremost. Keep your guard up even if you feel completely comfortable with the person. Let someone else know where you're going and when you expect to be home. If plans change, call and let the contact person know. Call them when you arrive home at the end of the date safely. Carry a cell phone that is charged and stay in cell phone reception areas. Drive your own vehicle to and from the date. Do all that you can to ensure that this date is safe for you.
*Don't be too naive. It isn't difficult for people to lie to you online. Keep that in mind as you chat and email. Just because someone says that he or she is wealthy and was once drafted to play for the New England Patriots doesn't mean that it's true. If something seems a bit unusual or hard to believe, check it out. Use your head before you lose your heart.
*Things are different online than in real life, even for the most honest person. When you're communicating online, you don't see the other person's crummy mood or hear them yell at their dog. These things don't typically happen in a virtual world, so be prepared to see little faults that you may have missed prior to meeting them. It doesn't mean they lied, only that it isn't something that came up. A perfect example of this is my husband. We chatted online for months and found out many things about one another. What I didn't find out was that he was prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder. That only came out when he moved to my rainy state to marry me and it became obvious. He didn't lie, he truly didn't think about it.
Online love can be found and it can work, but you should keep your safety in mind and be cautious. Communicate as much as you need to online before you meet in person. There are some wonderful people out there to meet, but be patient. It may not be the first one that comes along. Eventually, though, Mr. or Mrs. Right is bound to come along and change your life forever.
Comments