BLADE (1998)
I'd intended to start this review with a really lousy pun--something along the lines of, "Being a vampire is a real pain in the neck." Fortunately, my good sense intervened and reminded me of two very important things: not only do many people despise puns, but, if I wasted a joke like that on this review, I would be expending far more creativity than any critical analysis of Blade deserves. Perhaps a more appropriate opening line would be, "Hey dood, vampirez are KEWL!!!"
Wesley Snipes stars as Blade, a sword-toting vampire hunter who spends much of his time sneering at people, then chopping them up. A half-vampire/half-human hybrid, he has the speed, strength, and heightened senses of a nosferatu, but is able to walk around in broad daylight. He hangs around with Whistler (Kris Kristofferson), a remarkably grizzled inventor who creates the weapons that Blade uses to fight his foes. Whistler also periodically injects his friend with a special serum, designed to alleviate the cravings generated by Blade's non-human half. Unfortunately, after many years of these injections, Blade's body is beginning to build up a resistance. Soon he may start to experience the same bloodlust that afflicts the creatures he has vowed to destroy.
That sounds like an intriguing concept for an action movie, but screenwriter David Goyer (Dark City) and director Stephen Norrington (Death Machine) have little interest in building on it. Instead, their emphasis is solely on the construction of one frantic fight sequence after another. I can hardly blame them. A good plot has never been a prerequisite for a financially successful action movie, and knowing this, Norrington and Goyer haven't wasted any time developing one. The result is a film that flings chunks of kinetic energy at the audience like watermelon fragments at a Gallagher concert.
In all fairness, these scenes are well done: their pacing is satisfactory, the photography is innovative, and the performances are sufficient. The physically buff Snipes is more than able to convey the strength and agility that his character supposedly possesses, even if Blade himself undergoes no emotional development whatsoever during the course of the film. But after seeing the movie's 200th vampire slaying, most of the novelty had worn off.
Blade tries to hide the fact that it's an incomprehensible mess via quick editing. It's a rare shot indeed that lasts for more than two or three seconds, and the action sequences explode by with such rapidity that I actually found a few of them difficult to follow. In that regard, Blade echoes Transformers: it's spliced together as if it were a trailer, rather than the feature itself.
Stephen Dorff is horribly miscast as Deacon Frost, an ambitious young vampire who dreams of conquering the world. But even if Blade weren't out to stop him, there's no way he'd get very far. First of all, the guy's a twig. It's hard to be intimidated by someone who looks like a strong gust of wind could knock him on his skinny little bottom, particularly when beefcake Blade is so physically intimidating. Deacon's most frightening trait: he can sneer just as effectively as Blade. During one scene, in which hero and villain have a lengthy chat, so many sneers were exchanged that I feared one of the actors would injure a facial muscle.
Deacon isn't the smartest guy in the world, either: his fiendish plan consists of summoning a Vampire Blood God, or some equally silly nonsense. As he explains his evil scheme to a hostage (looking for all the world like a whisper-thin Snidely Whiplash as he does so), he boldly proclaims, "The vampire god will turn all humans into vampires! Everyone you know and love will become one of us!" Um, excuse me Deacon. You've just spent the first half of the movie talking about how humans are merely "cattle" (i.e., vampire food). Let's think about this: if you turn all of us into vampires, what're you gonna eat? To the best of my knowledge, vampires can't just pop a Lean Cuisine into the microwave. No humans = nosferatu crash diet, right? Maybe I'm crazy, but you might wanna rethink your plan of attack. Maybe you could turn everybody into Republicans instead. (Actually, maybe that would be too sinister.)
The movie flirts with sophistication in a couple of places, teasing us with plot twists that could have sparked the audience's interest, had they been followed up on. In addition to Blade's growing immunity to the serum, our heroine, Karen (N'Bushe Wright), may be turning into a vampire herself, and Whistler is being eaten alive by cancer. All three of these sub-plots deserved more time than the film gave them. None are handled satisfactorily, and the one involving Karen is so ham-fisted that I actually laughed at its resolution.
And yet despite all that, Blade is kinda fun. The movie, which is based on the popular Marvel comic of the same name, succeeds in creating an imaginary universe in which anything is possible. Bold, striking visuals leap from the screen. Shadows are used to great effect, while the camera spins dizzily, suggesting an off-balance world. Even the day scenes are drenched in darkness, a small cinematic touch that I loved. Blade is no masterpiece, but it does take great joy in sharing its vision of a realm in which nothing is as it seems. I actually enjoyed much of it, while simultaneously chuckling at its many flaws. I can't imagine ever watching it again, though.
RATING: C
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Comments
I agree.. I wasn't impressed with blade either.
For me, Blade is all about the car baby!
Okay, so it's not as compelling as the Marvel comic book or its character, but I do appreciate "Blade" the movie. If for no other reason than it gives us an African American superhero with whom we have an ambivalent relationship. It's a pity the protagonist wasn't given a more complex emotional development, as you pointed out, but I do give props to the filmmakers for embracing that particular comic. And for really paying attention to visual style. Not the worst superhero or vampire film I've seen. Just far from the best.
And I love puns. Just so you know.
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