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On an iPad Pilgrimage

Finally reaching Mecca!
Finally reaching Mecca!
Kim Barry

Today I found myself out for a Saturday morning shop-fest with Mom and Granny.

I was standing in the petite older ladies section of Dillards, trying to hide behind a Hillary Clinton-esque pants suit clothes rack in fear of being ridiculed by any male who spotted me, when I had some sort of religious-like experience. Feeling more like a computer zap running through my body rather than being saved by Jesus (or so I imagine), I remembered that this weekend is not only the Christian celebration of Jesus miraculously ascending into Heaven, but the birth of a device that will change the human experience as we know it - the iPad.

"We MUST be a part of this holy day," I pleaded with my mother. "To have the chance to witness such an important day in history only comes once in a lifetime." She agreed.

As we climbed out of the overly priced, 1970s style cheetah print geriatric area of the department store, we began our enduring trek across the mall to the Holy Land (or the Apple store for those who do not consider Steve Jobs as the savior). With mom by my side and Granny rolling along in her wheelchair out in front, I found myself thinking about the Three Wise Men and their journey from the East to witness the birth of Jesus. I walked through the crowded mall wondering how the wise men felt, and if they asked themselves the same types of questions I was asking. How would the birth of the foreseen savior change our world? Will our present world stop at the year 2010, start over at year 1, and begin referring to time as 1 A.P. - After iPad?

While dodging middle cart eyebrow threaders and massage therapists, plugging our nose to avoid the succulent aromas of Sbarro and Chinese free samples, and using our childhood Red Rover skills to part the sea of 16 year old Mallrats, our generational trio lightheartedly discussed these thoughts, but quickly became silent - we had finally arrived.
After stepping through the doorway to salvation, we stealthily made our way through the mass crowd of iPatrons, and I spotted an open path leading directly to an unoccupied tablet.

"Go! Quickly! There's a path. I see it!" I exclaimed to my mother. I think I heard her jaw drop.

Immediately after wheeling Granny down the angelic avenue and clearing a space to allow myself to succumb to the iPower, I was ready. Standing in front of the iPad was elation. Holding it was ecstasy.

Using my experienced iPhone skills to navigate through the tablet, I joyfully wisped through the pages, touching any app I could get my finger on. The first, of course, was connecting to the Internet. I fed my Twitter addiction by tweeting on the surprisingly smooth touch enabled keyboard, informing my followers about my new found iLove.

Next, my mom and I effortlessly composed an e-mail to my step-dad, letting him about our consideration of converting to the Apple religion.

After announcing our iFath, we decided to explore the business apps offered in iWork series. Pages seemed to parallel MS World, Numbers computed well when compared to Excel, and Keynote presented a similar PowerPoint experience.

We then discovered the photo app. We lightly finger flipped through the preloaded pictures, smoothly zoomed in and out with our thumbs and pointer fingers, and genuinely enjoyed the high quality resolution the camera offered.

Finally, we decided the true test of becoming an iDisciple was to find out if the eBook app lived up to the hype. Upon loading the app, I explained to my granny how the iPad is expected convert paperback lovers to digital bookworms. I then opened an eBook book, held the tablet in front of Granny, and asked her if this resembled a real paper book. She simply responded with, "This is wonderful." - And it was.

As our adventure came to an end, and we gave up our predestined place at the iHoly exhibit to the next drooling consumer, we decided a major negative to owning an iPad was the fact that we actually had to physically hold the device. One-handed typing and the potential for the tablet to easily slip through our fingertips would be a major downfall - literally.

With all this being said, and my granny's wonderful approval, I think the iPad will actually last. Maybe I am still tranced by the iMagic, but with major companies backing the production, optimizing their websites to viewable specifically for iPad users, and already supplying apps to the App Store, I believe the iPad will eventually overcome the crucifying remarks from critics and eventually ascend into the hands of consumers worldwide.

Originally published on, and the front page of Technorati


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