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We spend 40-plus hours of week at work so it comes as no surprise that the office is the number one destination spot for singles looking to make a love connection. But most people are ambivalent about mixing business with pleasure and if the relationship sours, one or both of you could be in jeopardy of losing a good job. What’s a lovelorn employee to do?
“Office romance enhances something called ‘engagement’ which is the Holy Grail of an employee’s commitment to a company’s success,” says Stephanie Losee, co-author of the book, Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding— and Managing— Romance on the Job. Losee and her writing partner Helaine Olen, have been married for 16 years to men they met at work. “We weren’t looking for love at work, but it just turned out that’s where we were meeting the men we ended up dating. Of course we had both heard the warnings about how God awful it’s supposed to be.”
According to an online poll conducted by the Society of Human Research Management (SHRM) and CareerJournal.com, a Web site of The Wall Street Journal, 40 percent of workers engaged in office romance and 42 percent of those ultimately got married.
So if you’re in a work environment in which there are many more attractive coworkers than you can count, is it truly okay to pursue love while hammering out the edits on the article due for that week’s deadline?
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Comments
Dating at work is always a bad idea. The expression "never sh** where you eat" should be kept in mind at all times.
I disagree, whilst I admit there can be pitfalls there are a number of benefits. There is a good chance that if you work in the same company or industry you already have similar drives and interests and may be more compatible. I met my wife of 7 years at work and have never looked back.
I know many happily married couples that met at work and as long as you keep your relationship professional then it is ok. Of course, you have to be prepared for dealing with each other if things do not go well and I have seen couples also handle this difficult task. Love is hard to find and work should not be off limits.
You learn a lot more about someone from working with them than you do on a date. Not only do you spend a lot more time with them, but in most cases they aren't trying to make an impression on you, so you can learn what their everyday behavior is like. Plus it gives you ample opportunity to grow tired of their mannerisms and to get over an initial infatuation. So workplace romance is a lot better than the alternative.
I met my husband at work but we didn't start dating until I left that job and moved on to another. I would not have been comfortable dating him while I worked there and he would not have either.
I agree that getting to know people at work is a great way to learn their true character as partners. When you go on dates, women tend to put on a cover and we as men have to work so hard to find out who the real person is behind the "face." At work, you can usually weed out the losers from the winners pretty easily. I'm going to show this article to my crush at work and hopefully, she'll return my affection!
That is pretty right! It is the mind which love to talk, share and involvement. And when you have a cool colleague @ work to talk (officially / friendly), chances are more to begin the relationship.
My husband and I met through work but we did not work directly nor did we work in the same building. I think that helps.
19 years ago I dated a woman I was working with. I went to visit my family over the holidays and determined that I would break it off on my return. I knew it was a bad idea to have an inter-office romance. (I had had a couple previously in a different office, and they didn't work out so well). When I returned, I walked right up to her, gathering all of my strength, and I said "Would you like to go to a movie this weekend?"
And that was that.
We were married a few months later and we now have 3 kids and almost 18 years of marriage.
The down side, when I was hired by a competitor a few months after our wedding, my wife was let go out of fear that she would share trade secrets.(As a side note, she had an offer on her answering machine before she arrived home from her 'firing'!.)
Most of the "power" couples are involved in some aspects of the same industry. I think if you meet someone on the job who shares similar career goals, has a measure of professionalism and maturity, it may strengthen you as a professional and lead to finding your soul mate.
Jeff, your story is so romantic. My heart's aflutter! Thanks for sharing with my readers!
Great article! I dislike lovebirds at the workplace who are super secretive about it, and don't want others admit 2it. I also dislike other extremes, the ones that make it too obvious and cloyingly show off skinship. I think that office romance is okay, but I wouldn't want to see the same individual moving down cubical to cubical, flirting with different (wo)men at different floors to match zodiac cycles. It's too conspicuous, if not too promiscuous even if office love seems innocent and naive, and because we know that working elbow to elbow with the significant other is the greatest crush and fantasy, and yet, even better, we have to question sub-ordinates climbing up and clinging onto senior executives for promotions, just for the sake of it. The other 60% have a proportion in them for affairs, divorces, separations, all because of frivolous encounters at the office (or putting out in other venues after work).
Wow, on office romance, www SHOUTLE com , a website looking at innovation and startups appears to begin or conduct its own survey based on the criteria mentioned on your winsome articles thus far! Great job JHL!!!
it's bad enough to go to work each day and then have romance along with sex too? I'm not sure about this. even though the workplace is our second home because we're there more than in our real homes, it could be the safest place to meet and greet. however, if the relationship goes to hell, one or the two of them will have to quit because now they can't stand each other.
people don't say it, but employees get h-rny at work. they wear these working masks like they don't have a single sex feeling. these are the really strange employees. they rather have relations with their jobs instead. you know, like, keep me busy because it turns me on.
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