Off-Topic Time: 'Limbo' is the creepiest thing you could welcome into your living room (with video)

Oh, yeah, this won't give anyone nightmares.

Have you gotten the feeling that your living room just isn't creepy enough? Are you looking to frighten your children to the point that they'll probably never have a peaceful night's sleep ever again (then again, who isn't)? Do you enjoy being chased by inordinately large spiders across a desolate landscape without the benefit of musical accompaniment? Well, in today's "Off-Topic Time", we've got the game for you. Limbo-- destined to be the latest go-to example of video games being art (which this most certainly is)-- has just arrived as the answer to all those questions. You can read the Comedy Examiner's Off-Topic review below, my gentle Examiner readers...

Be forewarned: Limbo isn't a comedy game, so don't go downloading expecting to laugh merrily as you play because you saw it mentioned here. Also, you probably shouldn't expect to get much sleep after spending time in this particular video game world: Limbo is, quite frankly, the most disturbing experience that this critic has had with a video game since The Sims: The Abu Ghraib Human Pyramid Pack hit store shelves. Before we go on, check out the game's trailer to get an idea of what we're talking about in today's "Off-Topic Time":

Are you suitably disturbed? You should be. I've been looking forward to Limbo since screenshots for the game starting arriving online, and I can't count how many times I've shown off the trailer above to my associates. Limbo is exactly what a game designed by David Lynch would look like: industrial areas, decrepit buildings, insects chasing you, Laura Dern having a nervous breakdown while wearing a rabbit costume inside a sleazy diner. Actually, Laura Dern doesn't appear in the game-- having a nervous breakdown or otherwise-- but she wouldn't be out of place here. I fully expect to have nightmares after playing Limbo, and that's the best compliment I can pay the game.

Actually, that's not true. There's all manner of nice things I could say about it. For instance: Limbo is bound to be the next go-to game name-dropped into arguments over whether or not video games are art. Roger Ebert infamously blogged about video games not being art about a year ago, and he's still getting hate mail about it. I'd be curious to know what his reaction to Limbo is-- not just seeing the trailer, but playing it. How anyone could look at this game and not admit that, "Yep, that's art" is beyond me. Maybe Limbo will settle the debate once and for all.

I confess that, on many occasions whilst playing Limbo, I shrieked out loud, not unlike a cheerleader with Tourette's. The first time one of those hairy, monstrous spiders graced the screen, it was everything I could do not to run screaming from my TV. At one point, after being hunted down and wrapped in webbing by one of these enormous creatures, you could have found me curled into the fetal position behind my couch, sucking my thumb and weeping like a little girl with a skinned knee. To be frank, it was quite embarrassing, and I'm glad none of you were here for it.

The game's packed with moments like these, sights and sounds that will make your skin crawl right off your body. If you're lucky enough to own an absurdly large plasma TV with a glorious surround-sound system attached, well, that's even better. The game just looks amazing presented in black and white, and the soundtrack is made up entirely of sounds being made by whatever grotesque thing happens to be on-screen at the time. In other words, you won't benefit from playing Limbo on a 26" TV/VCR combo with two blown speakers (that's what you get for watching Pokemon with the volume turned all the way up, nerd).

By now, you're probably wondering what Limbo's plot is like, but I can't really help ya with that one. The game's official description is something along the lines of "A boy uncertain of his sister's fate enters Limbo", and that's really all you have to go on. The game begins with your character-- the little boy seen in the trailer and photos included here-- waking up in a dark forest. You navigate the creepiest landcape imaginable while trying not to wet your pants from fear, and so on. As someone who generally insists that the games I buy have a great story to match the awesome graphics (which is why the 1080p Exxxtreme Rocking Chair Fiesta from Activision scored low at the Comedy Examiner's Office), I wasn't turned off by Limbo's lack of a plotline. Rather, the unanswered questions make the experience that much more intense, compelling, and enjoyable.

We choose carefully on what topics to cover here in "Off-Topic Time", and Limbo easily made the cut. If you're looking for something to kill time in between sunburns and backyard barbeques this summer, there's simply no great diversion around (besides drinking, but maybe you should take a few hours off from the bottle, Dylan Thomas). Yes, you'll have nightmares afterwards, and yes, you'll probably scar a child for life if they happen to wander into the room while you're playing. But as we all know, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. My grade? A+.

Stay tuned for future installments of "Off-Topic Time" in the near future, my precious snowflakes. If you have a specific topic you'd like to read about in an "Off-Topic Time" article here at the Comedy Examiner's Office, don't hesitate to email it in. And, if you've got something that you want to add to all this, feel free to sound off in the comments section below. If that's too much trouble, hit the "Subscribe" button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your inbox, free of charge, the moment they're published. Why, just look at all the fun you've been missing lately:

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