The NSA has been netting millions of phone messages from all over the world and ‘harvesting’ them if they contain certain words or phrases. “This is easier than lying to Congress” a staffer said. http://nsa.gov
The National Security Agency intercepted more than 70 million phone calls in France over a 30-day period.
It found that the words most prevalent during conversations were ‘cheese, wine, pate’, bread and vichyssoise.’
Someone said the word ‘terrorist’ but he was referring to the person who sold him a day old loaf of bread by mistake at his neighborhood market.”
There was nothing of value in any conversation, but it did provide gainful employment for thousands of NSA part timers working for them in China.
“We knew Google and Yahoo were going to be a little upset when we hacked links connecting data centers they operated” said NSA Asst. Director James Bloughme, “They weren’t supposed to find out.” http://google.com http://yahoo.com
“The information was of no help. We learned what America had for lunch, how much time they wasted on line at work and which internet sites are the most popular. We could have accessed a random Facebook page and gotten the same information” said NSA supervisor James Doohicky.
“Thank God we’re still a safe site” said a Facebook spokesperson, “No one should ever find out where you went for your birthday or see another picture of your cat in the sink.”
He went on to say, “reading tidbits about the people you never wanted to hang out with in high school is the great American pastime.”