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Now: Cure for the common cold. Later: Test subject pronounced deceased eating brains of researchers


  Magnetized picture of the rhinovirus, also known as the common cold.  

A year ago, University of Wisconsin and Maryland researchers announced to the press they were on their way to possibly finding a cure for the human rhinovirus, also known as the common cold.

This was a monumental moment for science and the health industry together, as the rhinovirus, with its 100+ varied, unique strains, has been one of the hardest illnesses to diagnose and cure since man has started its health care quest.

It was a simple matter of taking each strain and mapping its entire genome completely that lead the scientists into the direction of a possible cure.

Now, these same researchers have come to an even more interesting development.

Of the viruses that were mapped, a person could become infected with two and a third unique virus could then form, according to Dr. Stephen B. Liggett, co-leader of the project and a professor of medicine and physiology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine.

Though the reason for this is uncertain, they are saying that for the most part, they don’t do much harm. The potential, however, is still there, as even Liggett himself says, “…[M]any are not strong, but in some cases, they are.” They are working to “better understand” the viruses by coming up with and creating a diagnostic test.

At first, it appeared as though the test would be one of great expense, costing a person nearly $2000, almost ten times the cost of the actual hospital visit itself, but after honing the skills and perfecting the necessary techniques, the cost has been cut dramatically to only about $20.

Good news for asthmatics and those suffering with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), as even the simplest of colds can become life threatening.

In other news, it is feasible to assume that with the cure of the common cold well on its way, a zombie apocalypse is sure to arise. The starting point? Madison’s very own University of Wisconsin Hospital.

The reason? Simple, my dear readers. With any new developments in “life changing” cures, there is always a “life altering” side effect, whether it be the possibility of suicide, depression, anxiety, or, in this case, the rising of the dead.

Be wary, stay armed, and when a report comes out stating that after a “controlled test,” the subject was found deceased, and only minutes after being pronounced as such, rose from its seat and began to attack the researchers, I hope you’ve got your plan ready.

 

For more info:  Check out the 2002 and 2007 videos, 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later for an idea of what could possibly happen in the near future. Also, for those skeptics out there, check out this article written about an archaeology find in Hierakonpolis

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