Thanks to designer Francesco Morackini, we now have a brand new definition for “green” sex toys. His invention, the Dildomaker, is fashioned after a Raymond Loewy pencil sharpener, but modified to shave any solid food inserted into a penis shaped, edible object of pleasure.
The organic dildos made from cranking away on this novelty gadget aren’t really recommended to be used as penis substitutes because sticking vegetable, candle, and cheese dongs inside any orifice other than one’s mouth (excluding candle-penises for this one) might result in some weird infection or even simply having the object break off up inside requiring not only an emergency room visit, but an awkward explanation to the doctor. As someone who used to work nights in the ER, I can tell you that the weird cases always made the rounds among the staff until everyone working that night knew you shoved a gerbil-laden toilet paper cardboard roll or a still-vibrating dildo into your anus beyond the point of no return.
But what fun this nifty little kitchen tool can be for naughty sex toy parties, bachelorette parties, or any adult party where no children attend and the big kids have a sense of humor.
How’d you like to serve wieners that actually look like real wieners? What about grilled Kiolbassa penises? The Dildomaker is also a great way to encourage yourself to eat your vegetables! Carrot penises. Cucumber penises. Broccoli stem penises. Serve your wine with cheese penises and grape-balls! On hot summer days, suck on a popsicle penis! Make fried potato penises. The list of possibilities is endless and the gadget makes cooking fun.
For more information on where to order the Dildomaker and to see more of Morackini’s Cargo Collective line, visit http://cargocollective.com/morackini/Dildo-Maker.
This item is sure to be on everyone’s “must have” list this year. Bon appétit!
M. Gwynn has authored two books, Harvest and The Cat Who Wanted to be a Reindeer on Amazon.com .
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