“It feels shameful and unfair how other people shout down from their numb high places in life. Get a job, get a grip, cowards!” What is lacking in these kinds of moments, the sense of direct connection, compassion and empathy which equals love for one another. To give and receive fearlessly.
What makes it so hard to ask for help When you need it, no matter what kind of help it is, most people will make you feel ashamed and obtrusive for asking for help. Why are we surprised that people who really need help don’t or can’t muster up the courage to ask for it. That direct peer-to-peer connection that transfers energy. It’s that soul-to-soul connection field of communication. It connects the input of each other to ask for help.
How do you initiate that connection The very act of asking is connecting, It makes you vulnerable but the vulnerability is there for a reason and it serves a very important purpose. It says you trust as much. “You trust the connection and the openness this much,” Amanda Palmer witnessed. What people don’t like about it is the unpredictability of it and they want to put a label on it. A negative label that says it’s not OK to ask, to need each other, to share.
How do you put a label on what asking and being human is, why must it be negative, the direct connection between each other. Is it because the encounter that others observe from the outside involves that which is material and is what is thought of as earthly power? Its motivation and obsession, but with no accompanying emotional or spiritual gain.
“If I have something in which you need, lean on me when you’re not strong. I’ll be your strength. I’ll help you carry on.” –Bill Withers
Asking is the most direct connection between each other If you want to see people start resenting other people just let someone ask for help, for something, their pleas and requests go avoided and unheard unwilling to recognize the plight. The purest of intent of how to keep people in your life. Others see it as a shameful act, oh how earthly power tends to corrupt.
It gets very hard to feel so alone If you are asking what’s in it for me? We are each other’s muse. “Why are beggars despised? The novel written by George Orwell speaks to the likes of us not ‘liking’ beggars because they do no earn their living or place in the world as we do. Into each life one of us could penetrate a little way. What the person asking pays for in suffering the well-off surrounded by objects brashly dishes out.
Asking is revealing the soul and the soul-less couldn’t be bothered less The secrets of the soul, are hidden by a shell-like covering, the shape, the brokenness, the loneliness of all the lonely people. At the heart of the oyster is an enormous all-knowing eye that is sure that the poverty and shabbiness is unreal. The firelight falls diffused upon the privacy of the one who needs to ask. He looks at the door as if he heard a ring and somebody is asking is he in.
Those in ‘high places’ are in danger of digging more deeply in than the disapproving eye approves. At the heart the root of the suffering, but to be content with surfaces only, we miss the strange property that rests only on beauty and warmth. Relationship, sugary fare, what then is it like? Soothing, satisfying and fulfilling.
She needed their kindness and they resented it The giants had their own affairs to tend to. “From what crack in the wall do you dwell?” Those who ask are not tragic there is no sorrow damned up in their soul. They do not belong to the sobbing school of lowdown and they do not weep at the world. They are too busy sharpening their oyster knife. No one on earth ever had a greater chance for glory who would also get twice as much praise as blame.
Why this story My electricity has been off since Saturday and I had to find the courage to ask. Something I do not like to do asking others for help. But the people close to me that I had to find the guts to ask ignored me vehemently or accused me of wanting them to “carry me.”
Worthy of love and belonging What I do has an effect on those around me even though I tell myself it does not. If they are ignoring me wholeheartedly or keeping a comfortable distance then surely nothing I do fazes them emotionally. Wrong. What I do has an impact on other people and to those closest to me. To let myself be deeply seen and felt to love deeply. To practice gratitude and joy, and be grateful when I feel the most alone and to believe” I am enough,” to let ourselves be seen, to be worthy of love and belonging.
“Every good salesman knows the close comes in asking for the sale”
If you cannot measure it, it doesn’t exist “It starts with connection. Connection is why we are here. It gives purpose to our life, the ability to feel connected,” Brene Brown. When you ask people about connection they talk about disconnection. Shame is a fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see it they won’t want anything to do with me?
In order for connection to happen we have to make ourselves vulnerable The ‘unworthy’ feel worthy enough to ask. They feel with their enormous hearts enough space has occurred between each other and it’s OK now to ask for connection. They fully embrace vulnerability. They believe it is neither comfortable or excruciating but they are willing to do something in which there are no guarantees, and that is to reach out and to connect.
Surrender and walk into tenderness and vulnerability. Dive into Brene Brown’s viral video with me. By the way, 'my electricity off' ended up being something that I had to call the electric company to send someone out to come and fix, not for my lack of payment. Whew! All of that unworthiness-shame and fear, and feeling like an outcast for the simple gesture of asking for help. Do we really need to wonder why suicide is a viable option for some people in the world?