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No will to live…

When life is too much to handle

Has life ever felt like too much to handle? Your heart hurts; your thoughts are gloomy, you feel woeful and forlorn, you can’t shake that feeling of sinking into a dark hole and never seeing the light again?

Sadness, depression, a broken spirit, are all very real and incredibly hard. Those feelings don’t know an age, race, or gender, and they hurt as much at 21 as they do at 81. But what about that time when they become too much and you start to think that life is not worth living? Sometimes rotten things happen, such as losing a child, or having someone you care about believing an untruth about you, job pressures that overwhelm, matters of the heart, in other words, the feeling of being left at the bus stop and no bus is in sight.

How do you keep it together, when all you want to do is make the pain disappear any way possible? How do you keep from taking the whole bottle of sleeping pills in the middle of the night, so you don’t have to wake up? How do you keep from stopping your car on a train track and just waiting for the train to come take you out of your sorrows?

You just do….you resist the urge to die by pulling deep inside of yourself for whatever strength you can muster, you pray, you cling to those that believe in you. Then you have to take a deep breath and recognize that killing yourself is a cruel act to those that love you. Even though you feel distressed and frantic, you need to think that if it was someone else that caused the pain, even if you died, they would go on living their life, but you would have no more chances. You would halt your chances to help others, you could no longer make the world a better place; all you would be is ended.

Yes, counseling is needed, but in those moments by yourself, you have to draw on whatever source of power that keeps you going. Everyone will tell you time will heal ….but in the middle of all the hurt…it just doesn’t feel like that time will ever come. You can always call 911 or the suicide hot line at 1-800-273-2433, they are there any time, all the time.

If you or a loved one is experiencing any of the following warning signs, take immediate action to get the help you need.

· Appearing depressed or sad almost all the time

· Withdrawing

· Feeling hopeless

· Feeling trapped – like there is no way out

· Abusing drugs or alcohol

· A change in sleeping habits

· A change in eating habits

· Giving away prized possessions

· Feeling excessive guilt

· Losing interest in most activities

The following list provides some things for you to do to help yourself over this abysmal time in your life:

· Take the world 5 minutes at a time….then feel proud you made it another 5 minutes

· Make a list of who your life is important to and why, including pets

· Keep moving forward

· Surround yourself with positive people

· Distract yourself

· Share your feelings

· Think about what is good for you

· Do not put yourself in harm’s way

· Take good care of yourself even if it is just brushing your teeth

· Let it all out…cry a river

· Do things you love

· Keep busy

· Understand sometimes you are not given the chance to understand but you have to let it go or it will continue to consume you and eat at your will to live

A wise lady with bright red hair, a twinkle in her eye, and a life of many hardships, learned how to go forward when she wanted to quit. She was raped as a young teenage girl….she wanted to die…but fought it…her first husband got hooked on drugs and they became his love, she was tossed aside….she wanted to die but continued on….her finances became a mess, she didn’t know how she was going to pay the bills…she wanted to die…but worked it out….her health became an issue, she suffered with pain every day….she wanted to die but she got stronger. This lady decided her life was like a book. She wanted to find out what the next chapter would bring, and if she died the story would end. She is still living, still excited to see what the next chapter will convey ….most books end with a happy ending…she will turn the pages till she finds hers.

If you are feeling broken, keep writing the chapters of your book, that blissful ending may just be a chapter away.

One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. - Author Unknown

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