Free Yourselves from the Confines of your Dockers!
This Friday, the first Friday of May, is the fabulous No Pants Day holiday! This tradition, dating as far back as the mid 1980’s, was established in order to break the taboo, and deeply seeded nightmare for many, of being caught without pants at public gatherings. Basically, celebrators of this event attend conferences, get on subways, go to work, hang out at local establishments, and act as if there is nothing wrong with their pants-less attire. If asked why they are sporting their tighty-whities, they simply reply, “Forgot my trousers” like it’s a common occurrence.
New York City has embraced this holiday whole heartedly with a No Pants Subway Ride, though they typically celebrate it in the middle of winter rather than waiting until May in order to increase the absurdity that someone would forget their pants when the wind chill falls below freezing. Men and Women gather in the subways and even more populated areas like Union Square where they are occasionally met with pants-loving protestors sporting signs declaring that “God Wears Pants”. As suspected, it has become quite an interesting day for the NYPD.
I know. I know. The question blowing your mind is why Charleston, a Southern metropolis in the Bible Belt, has not whole heartedly embraced such an event. With fabulous May weather, you’d think that corporations, colleges, and the US Air Force base would be endorsing such a liberating holiday. As stated, this year No Pants Day falls on May 7th, so to honor the sinking of the Lusitania, the hanging of serial killer Dr. H. H. Holmes, and the release of Keith Richard’s song “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”, I say we bring No Pants Day to Charleston, SC and make history.