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No, Crystal Pepsi is not coming back

Crystal Pepsi
Crystal Pepsi

The Internet was buzzing this week, in anticipation of the re-release of Crystal Pepsi, its failed clear cola from the early 1990s. It was confirmed today, however, that the entire story was a very hilarious joke based on this article from the satirical Wall Street Sentinel.

Anyone who actually read the whole original article would have clearly noticed it was satire, as the author suggests Crystal Pepsi is just regular Pepsi with a few drops of bleach added to it. They go on to say that Pepsi will target the new beverage at "the confused" and low income neighborhoods in the South.

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For anyone still holding out hope for a Crystal Pepsi comeback, the website's about page makes the issue crystal clear by noting that all of their articles are "100% satirical" and including a helpful link to the Wikipedia satire article for anyone who might be unfamiliar with the term.

Radio and television reporters got in on the act, accepting social media buzz about the beverage's reintroduction as fact and repeating it on the air in some cases.

A Cleveland media outlet tweeted the bogus article with the following comment: "If you missed Crystal Pepsi, now's your chance to stock up! The beverage will be re-released later this year."

Oh how we wish that was true.


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