Nikki Ferrell supposedly wants to have Juan Pablo's baby (Life & Style, April 7, 2014 issue, pp 27-29). But it is hard for those of us who watched the show to believe that Juan Pablo would go along with this. As we watched The Bachelor this season, viewers watched Juan Pablo begin stealing our hearts as a single dad who professed that his daughter was a priority in his life. He appeared to have great "baby daddy" potential. And he may very well be a good father, but as the show progressed, we saw a different side to him. The flirtatious yet critical, non-committal "player" reared its ugly head. Even in the final rose ceremony, Juan Pablo's lack of a marriage proposal or the needed "I love you" shocked viewers. It made it evident that he did not consider Nikki Ferrell a real love connection, and that he may not even be capable of one. My advice to Nikki Ferrell: Don't try to have a baby with him, he's a player. Open your eyes and see how it turned out with the mother of his last child. I know you think it will be different with you, as every woman tries to believe, so that you can keep your fantasy going. And I'm sure you think that if you were to get pregnant by him, it would bring him closer to you, which absolutely won't happen, especially if he truly is a player. (See Carolyn Bushong's quote in Life & Style, April 7, 2014 issue, p 29.)
Women, especially those near 30 (Nikki Ferrell is 27) become blinded by their desire to have a child, ignoring the signs that someone isn't right for them. Having a man's child almost never saves a relationship or makes the relationship better. Yes, sometimes a man will marry you out of guilt if you get pregnant with his child, and he may even stay until the child is an adult. But he will feel trapped. And don't think for a minute that a man who stays with you out of guilt will be loving and good to you. Guilt creates resentment and resentment kills love.
Having a baby too soon
Having a baby too soon in a relationship often damages the future of the relationship. A couple needs time to adjust to each other. When a woman has a baby too soon in a relationship, she often focuses too much on the child early on before both parents have a chance to bond with each other. Dads then often move on emotionally staying only for the child because of guilt or moving on as soon as possible, leaving you alone as a single mother.
To all women out there who are focused on having a baby, but especially to Nikki: Don't sabotage your future and your child's future by rushing in to trying to have a child with Juan Pablo. First, make sure Juan Pablo is committed to you, then spend a couple of years solidifying the relationship with your guy. And finally, plan the timing of the child together so you work as a team to create a good environment for that child. And one last bit of advice for Nikki Ferrell: Trying to plan a family with a player like Juan Pablo only makes him run away. To win over a player, pull away from him and make him chase you.
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