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Nice, professional, upstanding wife and mother seeks naughty education

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Hey Angel,

I’ve been following your various blogs, columns and forums and have really been enjoying your fun adventures in Sexy-land! Given that you are the ONLY Sexpert I know, I thought I’d contact you for some advice. Hope you don’t mind…
So here’s the situation:

I’ve been married for 17 years and we’ve actually been exclusively together since two weeks before my 21st b-day (20 years ago). It’s been a great marriage and completely still is! I love my husband to death. Our kids are pretty good at taking care of themselves now and my husband and I have been spending a lot more time together rediscovering each other. The last year has probably been one of our happiest years together ever and things are completely clicking, especially in the bedroom!

Recently, my conservative husband confided a racy fantasy to me that really opened my eyes to the possibilities and got me thinking some rather scandalous thoughts myself. So, now I’m looking for some ways to spice it up a few more notches. Having had little experience with the “wild life” I’m really at a loss as to how to get started. We have a few toys but they are pretty cheap and comical. I’m planning a trip to the Liberator store soon but I’m looking for other ideas how to get moving in the proper direction of sexual exploration.

I’d say I’m open for pretty much anything. Since we’ve been together for so long and neither of us had a ton of experience prior to getting together, we only know what we know. Sometimes he asks me to talk dirty to him and I can hardly think of things to say… I feel like I need a teacher.

How does a nice, professional, upstanding wife and mother gain some sexual education and experience that will enhance an existing relationship???

I’d appreciate any sexy advice you can pass on to me!
Thanks,
S

Hi S!
I LOVE that you contacted me about your quest for sexy adventures! Let me start by saying that you are not alone in your wonderfully worded question.

How does a nice, professional, upstanding wife and mother gain some sexual education and experience that will enhance an existing relationship???

I have so many friends and people I meet that want an answer to this same question, but have no idea where to ask such a thing. We are conditioned to believe because we are wives, mothers, professional , etc., that we have to be conservative in the bedroom. As someone that reads my stuff, you know I think that is a load of malarkey!!

So lets dive right in to your questions and comments, shall we!

His Fantasy and Dirty Talk: These are so much fun! It’s says something about your comfort level and his ability to open up to you about what is going on in his head. Capitalize on his fantasy! This can go hand in hand with talking dirty. If he has a fantasy he wants to explore, start texting about it. Make sure it’s a secure phone of course; no work phones for sexting or work computers for that matter.
Sexting during the day or even if you are in the same house is a good way to say, confess or fantasize together without the added pressure of saying it out loud. Some things are better read than said. We do this quite often. Start by asking him questions about his fantasy and let him respond. I suggest slow building questions like:

“What would you like to see”

“How do you think that would feel”

“Would it turn you on if I did (fill in the blank)”

You can do that throughout the day for a slow build until you see each other that night. It works wonders as foreplay all day long. It is also like a naughty little secret that only the two of you share.

Play out his fantasy for him: That can be literally or figuratively. Without knowing exactly what his fantasy is, there are things you can do to simulate almost any circumstance. Props, toys, or just turn out the lights and whisper what you’ve talked about during the day in his ear.
Same goes for you with any fantasy you may have. You trust each other and it’s fantasy play. Be open to explore whatever you like, even things that may seem like they push the envelop. It doesn’t mean you have to ever act on any of it, but just being open to play with the fantasy can be fun.

Toys: Liberator is a GREAT place to visit for sex toys. Unlike some of the adult stores around Atlanta, Liberator is completely upscale and the people are amazing. I’m not joking when I say it’s like walking around the cosmetic counter at Nordstroms, but instead of makeup you are looking at high end upscale sex furniture and toys. Tell them Angel sent you in.
To figure out some toys you may like, start with a forum like EdenFantasys. This site has almost every toy you can imagine and a community of people that discuss sexuality, toys and every day life. You can do it anonymously and get so much information on there.

I hope this has been some help to you. I really have enjoyed answering your question!
Angel

Want to read more of Angel's work? Check out her site, www.angelmaynard.com and watch her web series Real Women/Real Sexy with Angel Maynard

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