Ever looked at your old license and thought "It's just too colorful! And I wish this awful expression on my face was featured more than once on the card!" We've all been there. It's enough to make you dread trips to the DMV.
Current licenses lack the Old Hollywood charm of black and white photography. The New York DMV is changing all this, with a new card designed to decrease identity theft and underage drinking. It has 30 security features, but most importantly the fine photographers at the DMV are capturing your visage to be displayed not once but twice on the same ID card. Bouncers and highway patrol men alike will swoon at the old-timey ambience of your face immortalized in shades of gray. A nod to the popular book, perhaps? Or get something like a Mortgage DMV even I haven't heard of it! We'll never know. Your colorless sleepy/cross-eyed/grimacing likeness will say all that needs to be said.
Minors will delight at their ID cards, with the information displayed vertically so as to show their non-alcohol-consuming status. These fun ID cards for minors practically scream "Make mine a Shirley Temple!" Nothing contributes to teenage sobriety like a bad photograph. Teens will think to themselves, "I really wanted beer, but I don't want that crappy picture of me to end up on some Unfortunate License Photos Tumblr page. It's just not worth the risk. I'd rather be safe."
These new cards will cut down on counterfeiting. Does everyone want to be you? Not anymore, they don't! The old cards, with your image in color, were irresistible to counterfeiters. But your cringe-worthy mug featured twice on the card stares them down and says "You think you can be me? Think again!" Criminals will instead slink off into a shadow to make methamphetamines or steal cars.
In an effort to keep jobs in the continent but out of our own country, the New York DMV is paying a Canadian company more money than you'll see in your lifetime to manufacture the new cards. Prior to this, Canada had only brought us poutine, Pamela Anderson and Rush. The Canadian company CBN Secure Technologies is to thank for these higher security cards. These new cards will keep you safer, more sober and protect your identity. Because nothing makes you more thankful to be you than your driver's license photograph.