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New Year, same old crap

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The last column of the year and another new year coming up. Now what? Take down the Yuletide tree or the Festivus pole, throw away the holiday greeting cards, make New Year resolutions and prepare for the first hangover of 2014.

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If you recall, my resolution last year to get out and jog was a total flop. I donned my Christmas jogging suit, laced up my two-hundred dollar Michael Jordan’s and by the time I got to the end of the driveway all the ice splashed out of my glass of Scotch & soda. I couldn’t keep my cigar lit either.

So don’t stress about failed resolutions, January is packed full of holidays to celebrate. So let’s get started.

January 2 is National Buffet Day. January 3 is Festival of Sleep Day. No, you are not dreaming, it’s a real holiday. Sleep all day, doze or nap anytime you want. The only people that don’t celebrate this holiday are the mattress testers down at the Sealy Mattress factory. I like to observe Festival of Sleep Day by sleeping naked with someone of the opposite sex. Preferably she is Swedish and around twenty-five years old. Oh wait, that might be a dream of mine. January 3 is also Fruitcake Toss Day. If you can’t sleep, gather up all of your holiday fruitcakes and toss them out as far as you can. Just don’t hit anyone.

January 8 is National Bubble Bath Day, another one I’d like to celebrate with a hot Swedish girl. January 10 is Peculiar People Day, the 15th is National Rubber Ducky Day so if you missed Bubble Bath Day you can always celebrate the two holidays together.

There is also National Popcorn Day, National Hugging Day and Opposite Day in January.

But my two favorite January holidays come at the end of the month on the 24th and 29th.

January 24 is Beer Can Appreciation Day. I make contributions to this observance throughout the year. This is a big holiday for me so when celebrating…Please drink responsibly.

And what goes with beer better than a sack of corn chips? January 29 is National Corn Chip Day. I like to get out the salsas and chili, grab some leftover beers from Beer Can Appreciation Day and party down.

Here’s a cool recipe to celebrate these two important holidays.

New Year’s Corn Chips & Stuff

1 Can Refried Beans

2 Scallions, Chopped Coarsely

1 Sack Corn Chips, (Use the Dippers kind)

½ Cup Grated Mexican Blend Cheese

Freshly Chopped Cilantro

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Heat the beans up and add the onions. Lay the chips out on a baking sheet. Spoon the beans on to each individual corn chip and smother with cheese and cilantro. Place in oven until cheese melts.

The video and slideshow will give you more tips on efficiently celebrating January 2014.

Happy New Year everybody.

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