In the heady hours before the clock strikes twelve one tends to make up their new year’s resolutions with the resolve of a Tea Party disciple ripping away grandma’s protective social security blanket.
At that moment in time, you are all about changing your life significantly from a sedentary chair squatter to one who can enter an ‘Iron man’ competition. It’s a big leap but you feel you can do it and not because of the ‘false courage’ from some fermented grapes. You’ve come to this conclusion because you were warned not to go too close to the water in your bathing suit during walrus mating season and your medical insurance will not cover an emergency room visit for a ‘de-tusking’. I bring the subject up at this particular time because, well, it’s about time for a significant percentage of us to renege on our promises. ‘Reneging’ is not as bad as it sounds. It depends on the amount of people you told and how well you ‘tap dance’ your way out of it.
The reality is that the half-life of a resolution is shorter than a Kardashian wedding. While treading the murky waters between self-resolve and what the hell, break out the chocolate, you wonder if you shouldn’t have signed up for that 6 month introductory fitness program after listening to the sales pitch of a tanned hunk with a body mass index equal to Calista Flockhart’s pinky. What’s going on here? ‘Is the road to hell really paved with good intentions?’ What about the Miami Beach sandy road?
We’re lucky because we’ve got miles of beach, ripe for the running, full of tourists who will never see us again. We’ll arrive at the water’s edge and cavalierly wrap a kerchief around our head with the aplomb of an artiste fidgeting with a runway model’s couture.
We gaze skyward as if to get God’s Imprimatur proving we have now embarked on a journey of self-discovery which should end with our photo on the May cover of the ‘American Senior Fitness Association’ twice monthly e-newsletter. http://seniorfitness.net
We start off jogging down the beach with a glint in our eye that seems to say “I’m running to Delray Beach”. Tourists will give you the ‘thumbs up’ because they’re living vicariously through your effort. They want to do the same thing, but they’re on vacation and need to get to ‘happy hour’.
One sure way to know it’s the new-year is when you see people jogging through the neighborhood. They may look familiar because they’re the same people that went jogging for the first couple of weeks of last year.
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