With the start of a new year usually comes with a new set of goals, wishes and expectations. For the single women of Long Island, this is no exception. Resolutions are made each year by singles to either stop being single, put themselves out there more, or to just give up on finding someone altogether. Instead of going to extremes, here are a few realistic New Year's resolutions that singles can aspire to.
Be Happy with Being Single
This is a big one. It doesn't matter if you plan to swear off men or are determined to find your soul mate this year. You won't be happy with anyone else until you are happy with yourself first. Cheesy? Maybe. True? Absolutely. You don't want to go looking for a guy to validate yourself or to find your happiness. You want to find someone who will improve on your happiness and support the choices you make in life. If you don't already know what makes you happy or what you want to do with your life, you're putting a lot of pressure on your future guy. And chances are a relationship with that much pressure on one person isn't going to last the long haul. Remember, self-confidence is sexy. Desperation is not.
Learn To Do Things on Your Own
Regardless of what other goals you have for meeting someone, the truth is no one actually knows how long they will be single for. That goes for you, too. It's a good idea to know how to do certain things on your own or be comfortable doing them by yourself. It can be a task like painting a room, fixing up the house, or doing basic maintenance on your car (every girl should know how to change a flat tire), or it can be a skill like cooking or baking. Learn how to manage your own finances or build a website. You can also make a resolution to go out more on your own. See a concert, movie, play, or anything else you want to do all by yourself. It's more liberating than scary once you've done it a few times.
Be Open to Life
This is a pretty broad resolution, but it works. Some singles have such a narrow view of what their life will be like or should be like that they miss out on some pretty great things passing them by. If you're one of those singles, realize there are certain things that are out of your control. You may have to relocate to get a new job. You may have to adjust your personal or professional budget to make ends meet. It's okay to plan ahead, but pay attention to what's going on around you and take advantage of spontaneous opportunities. If you get invited to a party at the last minute, go. If you're leaning towards a career change, follow your gut. No one's life is set in stone so be ready to be flexible. You may meet someone who isn't your preconceived ideal guy, but may actually be everything you didn't realize you needed. Be open to life, to changes, to opportunities.
Surround Yourself with People Who Care
Now this could be your new-future boyfriend who you'll meet sometime this year, or your friends and family. You are the people who you spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with people who aren't supportive and don't really care much about you, your confidence goes down, you don't feel like going out, and it doesn't present a great picture to all the interested guys out there. Instead take a step back from all these negative relationships you have and focus on being with the people who lift you up. The ones who will take time out of their schedule to ask how you're doing or if you're available to spend time together. Don't be the one chancing everyone else around asking what's happening. Be with the people who bring out the best in you and see how your attitude and outlook on life changes for the better. Plus, if you're surrounded by people who love you, then guys may be interested to find out why you're so lovable. And what's wrong with that?
This year in 2013, stop trying to make resolutions that involve dating a certain number of guys or finding your perfect match by the end of the year. Instead, make resolutions that focus on you and your happiness. You are not defined by your single status, but by who you are, how you act, and how you treat others. Be kind, courteous, and keep your eye, and heart, open to all the possibilities that await you this year.
Best of luck to all.