2012 is almost here and it might be challenging you to improve your parenting skills, to re-balance your family routine, to "fix" less-than-perfect behavior in yourself or to raise more fill-in-the-blank children.
Don't be fooled. New Year's resolutions are trickier for parents than for the average self-improvement devotee. Parenting isn't meant for the perfectionists or for the overly compulsive. Parenting is meant for the resilient mistake-makers and the daring leap-takers - someone ready to jump into the depths of the unknown and swim for her life.
Here are three tips to help you devise new year's resolutions that will keep you afloat in 2012:
- Beware of trying to be a perfect parent. Perfect parents don't raise perfect children; they raise children who never feel good enough. Kids are messy, physically and emotionally. They need parents who make it safe to be lost, confused and sometimes who catch them when they bounce off a very hard wall. Mostly, kids need parents who think for themselves, learn from their own mistakes and see problems as opportunities. Embrace your own parenting style and grow from there.
- Focus Forward. Instead of focusing on what you don't want to be - for example, a stressed-out screamer who doesn't follow through on what she says, focus on one or two simple things you can do differently. For example, learn to count backwards before reacting in stressful situations while explaining to your kids that you'll be calm by the time you count back to "0". Or, add a decompression activity when you get home from work. Maria Bailey, CEO of BlueSuitMom.com and MomTalkRadio, once shared her transition-routine that her four kids all jumped on her bed while she changed out of work clothes then jumped into the silliness herself. No matter what you want to change in your home or what isn't working as you'd like in your family, start with small, clear solutions instead of unattainable ideals.
- Teach optimism. Set an example for your children that this will be a great year because you are together as a family. As a family, you can face anything, any time, anywhere. Discover the power of your family strengths - humor, organization, kindness - to solve any problem big or small.
Congratulations! Now you're ready to set realistic goals for a new year and to enjoy your already-amazing family!
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