With the new year approaching and resolutions everywhere, I want to encourage you NOT to change. Trying to be a perfect parent or trying to parent "outside" of yourself never works. Or, never works for long. It works until your kids push your buttons for the ninth hour or until you miss that good night's sleep. Or, all the other reasons that parenting is hard, hard, hard.
This New Year, celebrate who you are and what you believe! You have strengths, interests and joys to share with your kids. Use those to ground your resolutions.
- Make time to enjoy new or old favorite children's books because they are fun and add magic to your world, not because you "should".
- Have a picnic on the beach once a month or play tourist in your home town because it rejuvenates you and makes the to-do list more tolerable.
- Say "no" to the obligatory playdate that makes everyone cranky.
- Write a list of all the things you said you'd never do as a parent - and burn it!
Make 2012 the year to conquer the parenting myths. There are so many:
- Good parents don't make mistakes.
- Good parents understand what their kids need at all times.
- Good parents have time for kids, husbands, friends, work, hobbies, in-laws and never lose it.
- If I try hard enough, plan smart enough and have enough patience, I can avoid tantrums, nagging and most misbehavior.
- blah, blah, blah....
Etch-a-sketch those myths right out of your head! You can have more fun and keep a gentle hold on your sanity only when you accept:
- Kids will be kids- immature, trying and exhausting. That's how they learn!
- All you really teach is yourself. Like yourself. Take care of yourself. It's the relationship with YOU that matters most of all.
- Embrace change. Parenting is shooting that arrow into the future - you can't possibly know exactly where it will land. Invest time in each stage, then let it go - sleepless nights, potty power struggles, peer pressures....turning over the car keys. As soon as you learn how to handle one stage, your child is on to the next. Stages change but you are the constant!
Happy New Year everyone! May your resolutions feel light and all the good parts of being a family outweigh the challenges.
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