If you're looking for a 700-pound paperweight all you need is a modern motorcycle and some technology gone awry. I'm talking about those fobs that go with your key and without which, at least on those machines that use them, the bike isn't going anywhere, at least under its own power.
My two bikes are decidedly old-tech, although the modern iteration of my Kawasaki Concours, the Concours 14, does use the fob. And my friend Jungle Fuhrman, who also rides a Concours, swears that as much as he likes the 14, he'll never own one and the fob is the reason. Jungle is convinced that the day will inevitably come when the electronics in that little device malfunction and you'll have a bike that is in perfect running order but will not run.
I heard a story about that the other day, although this one involved a BMW, not a Kawasaki. I was at a meeting of the Colorado Free Wheelers motorcycle club and one of the members related a long tale of just such an occurrence. I didn't get a lot of the details so I'll just give you the gist.
Seems that some time ago the fob for his Beemer ceased functioning, but apparently the bike ran fine without it, so he eventually decided to free up some space in his pocket and leave the fob at home. Apparently he also had some ongoing issues with the ignition but it worked so he didn't worry.
One event the Free Wheelers like to participate in is the SCMA's Three Flags Classic Tour that involves riding Mexico, the U.S., and Canada, all in a very short period. This fellow was all set to start the ride the next morning but had electrical issues and even when he turned the bike off, the lights stayed on. No problem, he figured, he just disconnected the battery.
Before the sun rose the next morning he was out at his bike and reconnected the battery and the alarm started screaming. Of course, the alarm is one of those things that you shut off with the fob, which was about 800 miles away at this point. Not only that, without the fob, the bike now would not start. It seems that when the battery was disconnected and reconnected, the electronics reset themselves. He ultimately ended up having the fob FedExed out to Reno or wherever this was and, in the meantime, he rode someone else's bike in the event.
So yeah, it's great to have the added security of knowing that even if someone stole your bike they would be unable to get it to run. But Jungle's point is well taken here. There just aren't that many people in need of a 700-pound paperweight.
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