New Hampshire Lawsuit Claims Convenience Store Bags Coming Up Short

Gelato, New Hampshire – In a development closely related to the recent news that Subway’s foot-long hoagies were measuring less than a foot, a new lawsuit has been filed against a popular convenience store chain claiming that their plastic bags have gotten shorter. “This is an outrage,” said 53 year old Susan Dipaulo. “I first noticed the problem when I emptied my trash and the new bag I lined the can with didn’t reach the top,” she added. Several consumers took matters into their own hands and found that the bags were coming in at 17.5” versus the normal 18” industry standard. “This is clearly a mistake on our part and we intend to get the shortened bags corrected,” said the chain's Vice President of Consumer Development, Pat Finky. The store intends to settle the lawsuit by providing the outraged customers with a year’s supply of properly sized bags.