Did you know that in Australia...
“Each night when she came from work I would be tense and nervous. I didn't know in what way she was going to abuse me.” This is Matthew’s story: the tale of a man who was regularly abused by his female partner in his own home. Unfortunately such stories are commonplace.
Male victims of family violence often face barriers to disclosing their abuse. They can suffer shame, embarrassment and the social stigma of not being able to protect themselves. They are likely to be told that there must be something they did to provoke their partner’s violence.
Alan, another male victim, finally summoned up the courage to talk to someone about his partner’s ongoing sexual abuse. “Who to talk to for advice - family or friends? No way. I spoke to a doctor. She seemed to listen to my stammering for a few minutes and then while scribbling asked, ‘What are you doing to make her behave that way?’”.
Dr Elizabeth Celi, a Melbourne psychologist says, “Unlike physical violence, many of the forms of domestic abuse faced by male victims are difficult to detect and hard for the man himself to defend against. A man’s health is wrapped up in his identity. Attacking his self-worth through various forms of criticism, manipulation and intimidation are forms of emotional and verbal violence that we need to learn about as a society and say ‘Enough!’”
As well as the effects of violence on men themselves, their children can suffer a range of negative impacts on their behavioural, cognitive and emotional functioning and social development. Neglecting violence against men means neglecting these children as well.
As part of this year's International Men’s Day celebrations, a new campaign for male victims of family violence was launched. The One in Three campaign is named after the little known fact that up to one in three victims of sexual assault and at least one in three victims of family violence is male (perhaps as many as one in two).
For example, researcher Murray Straus conducted an extensive study of partner violence by university students in 32 nations and found that, in Australia, 14% of physical violence between dating partners in the past year was perpetrated by males only, 21% by females only and 65% was mutual violence.
The campaign aims to raise public awareness of the existence and needs of male victims of family violence and abuse; to work with government and non-government services alike to provide assistance to male victims; and to reduce the incidence and impacts of family violence on Australian men, women and children. Supporters of the campaign include Dr Elizabeth Celi, Maggie Hamilton, author of What Men Don't Talk About and Steve Biddulph, author of Manhood.
Hamilton says, “Until researching What Men Don't Talk About I had no idea about domestic violence towards men. I was shocked to discover this had touched the lives of several close friends - men of all backgrounds from manual labourers to professionals. While we remain silent on this issue, men continue to be hurt, to be ignored.”
Biddulph writes, “With family violence, we had to address ‘women and children first’; but in 2009, the troubling nub of violence is in families where both partners are violent, as well as those most hidden, where women hit men. Violence is a miserable way to live, for perpetrator and victim, and for little children forced to watch. Today nobody approves of or accepts wife bashing. Husband bashing needs this same condemnation and action.”
While many services have rightly been established to support female victims of family violence, the needs of male victims remain largely unmet. Acknowledging this imbalance, the Western Australian Men’s Advisory Network recently commissioned ground-breaking research by Edith Cowan University into the nature and extent of domestic abuse against men.
Greg Millan from Newcastle’s Men’s Health Services was recently contacted by a women’s domestic violence worker who had also started providing support for men after witnessing growing numbers of male victims in court without any assistance. Millan subsequently developed a training program called Working with Men affected by Violence, for workers in the domestic violence and family relationship sector.
On the international front, the Valley Oasis shelter in Lancaster, California, was the first in the USA to give refuge to victims regardless of their gender. “Our philosophy is that domestic violence is a societal problem,” said Carol Ensign, the shelter's executive director. “Nobody deserves to get hit, whether they are 2 months old or 80 years old, whether they are a man or woman, child or teen.” (Note: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women also provides services in the US, as does A New Leaf in the Phoenix AZ area, and SAFE online -- Ed.)
A groundbreaking Dutch scheme has recently established shelters for abused men in four major cities.
In Ireland, Amen provides a confidential helpline, support service and information for male victims of domestic abuse.
In the UK, the Next Steps Housing Association has recently created 100 places in 35 refuge houses for husbands and partners of abusive women.
Confidential helplines for men have also been established in England and Wales.
The One in Three website can be found at oneinthree.com.au.
Greg Andresen, one of the founders of the One in Three campaign will be a special guest on next week's edition of Dads on the Air.
Dads on the Air | www.dadsontheair.net
Local Sydney Time: 10.30am to 12 midday Tuesday 24th November 2009
USA Eastern time: 6.30pm to 8pm Monday 23rd November 2009
USA Pacific time: 3.30pm to 5pm Monday 23rd November 2009
UK GMT time: 11.30pm to 1am Monday night (Tuesday morning) 23rd November 2009
Listen live on 2GLF 89.3FM in Sydney
or online via live streaming at www.893fm.com.au/On-Air
or in MP3 format at www.dadsontheair.net
or subscribe to our Podcast here
.JPG)
Comments
Domestic violence against men is something I've been thinking about in relation to the James Ray scandal. It seems to me that many survivors are demonstrating behaviors and attitudes similar to victims of domestic violence. I think this has something to do with the psychological victimization James Ray put his participants through. Either way, it leaves me very concerned that the male survivors are going to be afraid to speak out or something. I'm glad a man who survived the deathlodge finally stepped forward (Dennis Mehravar). I think all men should know - women dig a guy who takes a stand against abuse.
i my self was physical, psychological verably abused by my female partner in foint of my kids and some times in foint of family, to add this she has a friend how is a female police officer at the time, she use this friendship and keep remining me of it at lest 3 times a week untill she set me up for a fall by starting a argument and hitting me and said i got you. the police were not interesed in investergating it at all as the officer in charge, is her friend. as for the kids they would see me getting hit by mother and them sleves being abused too, over the top type of hitting and draging around the house or from one end to other end.
The Domestic violence help services continely told me to go alway or said we are for women only not for men,but in NSW AUSTRAlIA these services are state and fed funded by tax payers.
Andy of oz: I know many organizations that offer support for victims of domestic violence are only for women who have husbands that beat them. Period. If a person doesn't fall into that specific category it becomes nearly impossible for them to find support from any organizations. I think that SUCKS.