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Neener, neener: Obama flaunts ‘Hawaii Christmas vacation’ to Americans online

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“Five years into his presidency,” Politico’s Josh Gerstein reported Christmas Eve, “Barack Obama might have been reaping kudos for ushering in a new era of transparency in government.”

Instead, he’s under fire for his administration’s secrecy.

While Gerstein’s article focused on the media’s frustration over their limited access to the president – noting that Obama even accepted transparency award in 2011 “at a closed-press Oval Office meeting” -- a Dec. 13 Reason-Rupe poll that showed 57 percent of Americans don’t believe he has kept his 2009 promise to provide the most transparent administration in history.

So, in order to free himself of his transparency "albatross" -- and to prove once an for all that he "is committed to making this the most open and participatory administration in history” -- a new post on the White House website made an unprecedented announcement that should satisfy all concerned.

This year, he has decided to share his Hawaii Christmas vacation activities with the American people.

According to the new website, "the 2013 White House holiday theme is "Gather Around."

So crank up your heaters, play some Hawaiian music, and enjoy online "The 2013 Obama Hawaii Vacation."

Yes, while the majority of Americans had to cut back on their holiday gift purchases this year, Obama “decided” it would be a good idea to share how much fun he’s having on his annual family vacation in Hawaii – golfing, swimming, snorkeling, dining at gourmet restaurants -- at your expense!

Neener, neener!

This ranks right up there with the "Obama Event Registry," where Americans with “a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up” were encouraged to “register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation” to his 2012 reelection campaign “in lieu of a gift” for themselves.

What's more -- to make sure that you know he’s making the most of your tax dollars "this year" – you are assured though the caption posted with the above photo on the White House website that “the President's vacation began the moment he stepped onboard Air Force One.”

He enjoyed his favorite Hawaiian treats: Taro chips, chocolate macadamia nuts, and a Mai Tai.

Yes, for the one-in-six of Americans living in poverty and the 23,116,441 households and 47,727,052 individuals depending on food stamps to obtain their holiday meals, that will surely come as comforting news.

On Saturday, CNN’s Tom Cohen outlined “why 2013 was a bad year for Obama.”

For a man who once campaigned on the slogan of "Yes We Can," the botched Obamacare roll-out, his tanking poll numbers, the IRS and NSA scandals, failing to pass anything on his 2013 agenda wish list and winning Politifact’s “Pants on Fire-Lie of the Year Award” for assuring Americans some 36 times that “if you like your health plan you can’t keep it” had to make for one bummer of a year.

So, “after an incredibly tumultuous year, the President plans to relax this trip and visit some of his favorite places.”

To make sure you “enjoy” his vacation “online” – while you sit at home in front of “your heaters” listening to “some Hawaiian music” -- the website provides an interactive map, inviting you click on “the blue markers” to “see if you can find” Obama’s “favorite places.”

But wait – there’s more!

If you're one of the thousands of Americans who had to leave 500 million vacation days on the table because you can't afford to go on your own vacation this year -- and the photos and stories Obama shares about how much fun he's having with his family on your dime on "The 2013 Obama Hawaii Vacation" website aren’t enough to make your holiday merry and bright, -- just log on to “Armchair Hawaii” to learn even “more about the Obama Hawaii Vacation 2013” and “read about President Obama's favorite restaurants in Hawaii!

Still not satisfied?

No problem!

You can also “Follow President Obama's Vacation on Twitter!”

As of 3:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve, 52 whole people were following – including an eight-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Tiffany. At 12:30 on Christmas Day, there were 53 followers.

Obama is following 10 people.

All of them are reporters.

Apparently he cares more about what the media is saying about him while he's on vacation than what the “American people” think.

Still, Obama wants you to know that a vacation in Hawaii isn't all fun and games.

Due to an unfortunate "chewing incident" last year involving First Dog Bo and the addition of a second family dog Sunny, the search for a suitable vacation rental home has become quite challenging. To combat this problem, President Obama issued an Executive Order in November declaring that any pet-related damage would be covered by the "full faith and credit guaranty" of the United States Government.

Yep. On top of paying for his family vacation, you get to pay for the damages cause by his dogs, too!

Luckily, the President was able to secure the same house as last year in his favorite Kailua beach neighborhood.

Yes, the record number of Americans who can't even afford to pay their rent will find that to be a relief.

Meanwhile, the Associated Press reported Christmas Day that the U.S. Embassy in Kubul, Afghanistan was attacked.

But not to worry.

“An exact replica of the official White House fence was once again flown out in advance to provide both security and privacy for President Obama and his family” – “once again,” at your expense.

Oh – and for you 57 percent who don’t believe Obama is running the most open and transparent administration in history – check the other website called "White House Live."

“President Obama has long believed that the White House should be the People's House,” the introduction reads.

“In a spirit of openness and transparency” – while the president has barred Americans from actually visiting the “the People’s House -- “the Obama Administration has decided to place live web cams throughout the White House so the American people can watch the President and his staff hard at work for our country.”

Of "the six strategically placed live White House webcams," you can watch a “live shot of the Oval Office showing President Obama hard at work for our country” or a “live shot of the Vice President's Office showing VP Joe Biden hard at work for our country.”

You can also view “live shot of the Cabinet Room, a “live shot of the White House entrance hall and cross hall” and a “live shot of the library.”

Of course, on Christmas Day, all webcams showed that “not a creature was stirring.”

“Yet more proof that the Obama White House is the most open and transparent administration in history,” you can even watch the “live shot of the White House restroom.”

While this page currently shows a still-shot of Obama on his way out of the White House restroom, the image of the giant Occupy mask on the mirror watching over the White House restroom is especially awkward.

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