Nate Phelps, son of "god hates fags" pastor Fred Phelps, tells story of survival & escape

The calm, friendly atmosphere in the Topeka Performing Arts Center last Saturday afternoon contrasted sharply with the circus usually surrounding any event that Fred Phelps graces with his presence. In fact, there was no sign of Fred or of most of the Phelps family. Only Fred’s second son, Nate, was there.
Nate, self-described as strong-willed, stubborn, and rebellious, impressed his audience of several hundred with his gentleness, compassion, and humility. To have survived what he has required tremendous inner strength, and that he was able to find love and healing through it all inspired us all.
Welcomed to the stage by Rev. Nancy Wilson, leader of the world-wide Metropolitan Community Churches, Nate, eyes cast downward, began his story,
“Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers…..” he quickly listed all 66 books of the Bible in order.
“I could recite the books of the Bible by age 7 because my father required it…if one of his children took too long looking up a scripture during one of his sermons, he would call out for someone to smack us.”
Thus began his story of growing up with a father who was physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive in ways that cross the line between mere cruelty to abject hatred of self and all the world around him.
Nate was not what one would call a dynamic speaker. He quietly read his story to us. He didn’t need a vibrant personality to engage his audience; his story alone was so compelling that the hushed crowd hung onto every word. Most of what he shared is on his website, so I won’t recount it here. It is a story you must read, though.
The big questions that we all wanted answered were “why?” and “what can we do?”
Neither is an easy one to answer. Nate revealed that his father, Fred, finds ample supply for his beliefs and actions in the scripture. Though most Christians denounce the behavior of Fred and his family/congregation, and many claim that he twists the scripture, Nate reminded us that a little over 100 years ago many Americans used scripture to justify slavery and prove the inferiority of Black people.
What changed? People have changed, society has changed, and our beliefs have changed. And since we interpret the scripture, the Bible changes, too. This was a radical idea to Nate, who was indoctrinated from birth with the idea that the Bible held absolute, literal, unchanging truth.
But still the “why” hangs out there. Why has Fred taken his hatred of the world, a hatred he attributes to God, to such an extreme? And why do so many family members follow him?
It is a loathing that seems to feed on itself. Self-righteousness can be so satisfying, so comfortable, so safe-feeling, that a person doesn’t even notice the emptiness in the soul. Those in his circle carry such a fear of shunning from their family and community, that they join the ranks until they, too, are addicted to the hatred.
The second question may be even more important. What can we do? During the Q&A, Nate said that if he could flip a switch to make the whole world completely ignore his father and his following, that would probably be the best solution. Since that is not probable, though, he suggested that the next best solution is to counter the evil with good.
As an example, he lifted up Shawnee Mission East High School, whose students, in response to a Phelps picketing event, raised $5,000 for AIDS research. An organization in Topeka called “Think Big,” is taking measures to counteract the negative image Topeka has suffered from Phelps’s notoriety. They are largely responsible for convincing Google to change its name to Topeka on April 1.
To counteract the damage from his father’s hate-filled life, Nate is working with the Richard Dawkins Foundation to provide hope to those suffering from religious abuse. According to him, 39 states have laws that provide exemptions for child abuse if the abuse stems from religious convictions. “There should be no double standard when it comes to child abuse,” he declared.
Each person is called to respond in a different way, but our lives do make a difference. As Nate concluded, “It is up to us here today to ensure that their seeds of hate are cast on barren soil and blow away like dust in the wind.”