Narcissistic women are on the rise in America. Climbing to the top by using others to accomplish selfish, self centered desires is an evil means to an end.
When in the company of a narcissistic woman, one will notice particular traits such as:
They are socially engaged but make you feel like a failure; easily offended; privately opinionated; finds fault in you and ways of responding makes you nervous. The world revolves AROUND her. These are the traits of a narcissist. Below is a description of a mother with these traits and how it will affect a child growing up in this environment.
Psychology Today blogger, Karyl McBride, Ph.D. puts it this way:
“Narcissists are not in touch with their own feelings. They project those feelings on to others and are not capable of empathy. They cannot put themselves into your shoes and feel or understand how something might affect you. They can only see how it affects them. They are hypersensitive to criticism and judgment, but constantly criticize and judge others.”
Narcissistic moms comes home and demands attention. If you hold back, she takes offense and attacks. She’s tired. She’s irritated. She just wants it her way, and your feelings better align with hers. If you have to hear the word “ungrateful” one more time you’ll scream. But, most times you don’t.
It pays to wait for the rage to abate. If you fight, she fights to win. Many normal parents get into power struggles with their kids, but a narcissistic parent truly needs to win. It is both desperate and scary.
So, you grow up with everyone tiptoeing around mom, hoping that she’s in a good mood, and anxious not to trigger a rage attack.
All it takes is a little frustration, so you better be good.
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder generally believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on themselves at all times.
Dr. Karyl McBride has written a called "Will I Ever Be Good Enough" where she explains the devastating effects of mothers who have emotionally destroyed their own children.
Dr. McBride has been involved in private research concerning children of narcissistic parents, with a primary focus on women raised by narcissistic mothers. She has treated many daughters of narcissistic mothers in her private practice.
Dr. MacBride has a test on her website on how to discover if your mother was a narcissist. The questions are revealing and will be painful to answer if indeed one was raised by a narcissist.
They are always solutions to better oneself rather than focus on what has been done. There is a way to survive without constantly feeling like a victim. The hurt caused by a parent runs deep.
Asking "where do I go from here?" is a healthy way of beginning to deal with the emotional trauma. Recognition is the first step to the healing process. Be encouraged to know you are not alone. Many others are suffering with these same issues, and have found help.
Finding a proper healthy solution enables a change in thought processing; default patterns (repetitive behavior even if dysfunctional), and destructive personal relationships.
There is help. Being a victim is a choice. It is possible to break the cycle and live a peaceful life.
Check out Dr. McBrides website. Her book "Will I Ever Be Good Enough" is available on Amazon.