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Name That Penis Contest Goes Live!


Give the little guy a name.  NAME THAT PENIS!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Kat McCarty, of "Thing of it is" blog, and I are sponsoring a NAME THAT PENIS contest!  This little guy was so cute, we felt he needed a name.  I'm inviting you all to participate!  Entry is free and the winner will receive a very sexy gift basket to include a brand new vibrator! (something to be thankful for, indeed)  Click here for details on how to enter. (Cartoon illustration by Michele Gwynn- yep!  That's me!)

So the question arises as to why men name their penises in the first place?  I feel that the reasons for providing this alias to the bald-headed gentleman from the southern region are many, but let's look at a few.

By giving a name, and therefor, a personality to the penis, a man can place all blame for bad behavior on this "third person".   "I'm sorry, honey. Seymour made me do it!"

It makes a man feel like BATMAN!  After all, Batman had a sidekick, too!  Guess that makes the penis The Boy Wonder?

Giving his penis a name allows for a man to infuse the character of the penis with all the traits he may not possess, himself, in everyday life.  I.e., his penis can lift 500 lb blocks singlehandedly.  The penis can drive nails into walls without a DeWalt Nail Gun!  The penis can leap tall buildings in a single bound so jumping your juicy butt is child's play! 

Providing a name for his penis allows a guy to use that name as a code word in public settings.  Ex:  "Hey honey, Rufus is feeling a little hungry and I think you need to feed him!"  or.."Stanley is a little sad.  Maybe if you gave him a little kissy, he'd "perk" up!"

Not to be outdone, women often apply names to their vagges!  But the names men come up with far outdo the women in the humor department.  It's cute!  As women, we can appreciate the nomenclatures.  Now, put those Schlongtastic names to good use and submit one to the contest!  Again, click here for contest details and information on how to enter!

For more from this author check out: 

 One P&^%ss&^d Wet Cat.

Every Tom, Dick, and Harry vs B.O.B.

Follow me on Twitter

All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be reposted in part or whole without written permission by the author.  For permission, email


  • Rob 5 years ago

    Never thought of naming my Junk before. Normally, the the past women in my life call my little soldier either mini-me or junior.

    I'm curious to see what male's call their wiggilies. Kind of weird to me to name your pito (pronounced: peetoe) but to each their own right?

  • M. Gwynn 5 years ago

    You don't have to name your own, but be name this little guy!

  • Gary 5 years ago

    The Great Humongous

  • M. Gwynn 5 years ago

    To win, you must submit your entry via the details listed on the link. Names left on here on the comments are not valid entries. So if you would like to win a basket full of sexy stuff, follow the directions for valid entry by clicking the link above! Hurry, time's-a-wastin'!

  • david 4 years ago

    my girlfriend named my penis hairy you can imagine why,basically cause it has a thick bush of blonde hair around it