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My grilla gorilla girlfriend

Safety first when grilling
Safety first when grilling
internet/Rus Pishnery

Memorial weekend is coming up and as I venture out on to the patio I spot her. She is dark, sleek and sexy. She has long shiny legs that glisten in the sun and she is built like a cast-iron Dutch oven. She gives me a pouty look. She is hot and we have spent many tender moments together. There is a sizzle between us and I have a burning desire for her. She is my Grilla Gorilla girlfriend.

Grilla gorilla
internet/Rus Pishnery

This summer I’m going to be a bit more adventurous on the grill. Sure I’ll still do burgers, dogs and steaks. Hell, I may even do a chicken flattened with a brick. But don’t worry, I’m not going to a spit-roasted whole goat or Amazonian grubs, I’ll keep it classy on the grates.

So let’s do a take on a tasty yet off-beat BBQ that will delight your friends and family. First off…

Grilled Octopus

1 Octopus, Cleaned, Ink Sac Removed

Olive Oil

Fresh Lemon Juice

Garlic, Smashed

Sea Salt/Freshly Ground Black Pepper

Blend the oil, juice and garlic. Season to taste.

Fire up the grill, make it good and hot and place the whole octopus over the hottest part of the fire. Baste the squid while cooking and depending on the weight it will take around 15-20 minutes. The creature is done when you press it with your thumb and it pushes back slightly.

Now that the main course is done, how about a salad to go with it?

Grilled Caesar Salad

2 Heads Romaine Lettuce, Sliced Length-wise in half

½ Cup Freshly Grated Parmesan/Romano Cheese

Caesar Dressing


Drizzle the Romaines with olive oil and season with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper. Grill for 2-3 minutes until grill marks appear and the lettuce just begins to wilt.

Remove and slice in to individual salad bowls, toss with dressing and add croutons.

Save room for dessert.

Grilled Banana Split

3-4 Bananas, Keep ‘em in the skins but slice them lengthwise.

Brown Sugar & Cinnamon

Banana Split Toppings, Ice Cream, Nuts, Crushed Pineapple, Whipped Cream, Chocolate Sauce, Maraschino Cherry

Mix the brown sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle on the cut side of the bananas.

Place the bananas cut side down and grill for about 2 minutes or until grill marks appear. Turn them over skin-side down and grill for 5 more minutes.

Remove the bananas to a sundae dish and top with ice cream scoops and your favorite toppings.

Hilarious backyard grilling slideshow is next.

Happy Grilling everybody.

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