Skip to main content
Report this ad

See also:

My boyfriend (and I) featured in The New York Times Sunday Magazine

For much of the past two decades, John has taken a backseat to me in the "bisexual activism" world. He's tagged along with me to Bisexual Conferences, he's suffered through long and boring activist meetings, he was forced to edit the book I co-wrote with my bi-friend and fellow writer Nicole Kristal.

John Sylla and Mike Szymanski in this coming Sunday's Times. Click on the link for more photos.
Hannah Whitaker, New York Times

Today that has all changed, and I couldn't be more proud.

John Sylla, and the great work he has done with the American Institute of Bisexuality, is being featured in The New York Times Sunday Magazine this weekend, March 23, and it is a big deal.

Not since the Newsweek cover declared: Bisexuality NOT GAY. NOT STRAIGHT. A NEW SEXUAL IDENTITY EMERGES has there been such a positive portrayal of bisexuality in the mainstream media. And that was July 17, 1995. It took nearly two decades to get another story like this done!

You can read the New York Times Sunday magazine story right now:

It's a partially first-person story by the handsome journalist Benoit Denizet-Lewis and it details the dinner in West Hollywood that we had with him, and some of the things we discussed over lots of wine. (Yes, I'm in the story, but only peripherally.)

On my last night with A.I.B. in Los Angeles, I joined John Sylla and Mike Szymanski for dinner. Szymanski isn’t involved with A.I.B., but like Sylla, he’s a longtime bisexual activist. As a young man, Szymanski identified as gay and even worked for a gay magazine, but he surprised himself by falling in love with a woman. “So I had to sneak around with my girlfriend,” he told me, “lest I start a scandal at the office.”

When the photo shoot took place (in the middle of the Los Angeles Marathon), just next door to where Prince played in a surprise concert only the night before, the photographer asked John and I to pose together and asked me to put my head on his shoulder. I knew then, I was merely a prop for the story, but that was OK by me.

I was the national Media Coordinator for Bi Net USA for years in the 1980s and never could I have orchestrated a piece like this. Yes, Nicole and I wrote a great, upbeat book The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe—Quips, Tips and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways ( and it had a great impact on a lot of people (we still get letters). Nicole and I were honored to win the very first Lambda Literary Award given in the new Bisexual Category, and my two close friends from college, Roxana and Barbara, were with me!

But, nothing could tell the story like this.

Yes, it's surrounded in the story with people I knew before I ever met John. Regina Reinhardt, the therapist from San Diego, is pictured, so is Gary North. Robyn Ochs, who I went on "The Phil Donahue Show" with is quoted in the article, and so are many people I still call friends, and new ones I've since met.

In fact, the woman who inspired me to write "The House that Bisexuality Built" (a version that's in our book), my longtime friend Denise Penn, is the reason why John and I met. She coaxed me to write that story that made the cover of the Orange County Blade that she was editing, (and for years I went on her public access TV show) and that is the reason John looked me up. He left yellow tulips on my front doorstep (which was only a mile from his own house in the Hollywood Hills), with the note he details in the New York Times.

It was nice to see that Benoit honored some of our requests for privacy. For example, he doesn't mention my nephew (John's son with my sister) that many people know about, but my sister has always insisted not be part of any bisexual publicity. That didn't make it in the story, but it really didn't belong anyway.

John got widely criticized by many of my bisexual activist friends when did the brilliant thing to contact Michael Bailey, the scientist who was widely excoriated as the "bisexual male denier" and helped fund research to prove that there is an actual "bi brain" that can be mapped. In fact, John's was one of the first ones to do so in the test that is detailed in the article. The American Institute of Bisexuality is doing a lot of great things—research that will be groundbreaking. It's the kind of thing that Alfred Kinsey was doing, but no university could touch in the political climate we are now in.

I'm so grateful for my friendship with the late Dr. Fritz Klein, and introducing John to him. They hit it off so quickly and so well. (Yeah, I was often jealous!) But Dr. Fritz would be very proud of this article, too, and his legacy is written all over it.

There are a lot of positive role models out there, and this is good. The article shows a wide variety of bi people (many whom I don't know nor never heard of) and that is great. Ian Lawrence and AIB has the great re-introduced website where you can see more. Check it out, and sign in!

Pass this story around. And read and comment on the New York Times Sunday magazine story. I'm proud.

Report this ad