One of the cineaste's favorite pasttimes is berating the inconsistency, inadequacy, and general lack-of-coolness of the MPAA. There Will Be Blood shouldn't have been R. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince shouldn't have been PG. And what's with all the nudity in Sixteen Candles, or the barrage of f-bombs in the PG All the President's Men?
But too often we neglect all the joy those 10-13 people in a room somewhere in a country bring into our lives, attaching labels to movies and content descriptions that range from the unhelpfully broad ("language," "violence," "sexual content") to the hilariously descriptive (most of those below). Here are a few of the Motion Picture Association of America's best and brightest:
PG-13 for violence, language, horror images, slime, and gore
(By that token, those Nickelodeon game shows I watched as a kid must've been NC-17.)
PG for language and a mild birds and bees discussion
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
PG for quirky situations, action and mild language.
(The secret key to why all Wes Anderson's films have been rated R.)
PG-13 for a child in jeopardy and brief language.
PG-13 for a murder and other action sequences in an adventure setting
PG for mild language and brief video images of violence and sexy dancing
PG-13 for mature theme, some images of violence, and a bawdy puppet show
R for language and for a mother's sociopathic behavior
PG for brief mild language and an adolescent punch in the nose
PG-13 for intense depiction of very bad weather
(Would also work as a plot synopsis. Or maybe another tag line.)
And last, but certainly not least:
PG for mischievous conflict, some mild language, and bare bottoms
Comments
Don't forget the movie Hoot 2006.
Rated PG for mild bullying and brief language.
I like Lilo and Stitch which is PG for mild sci-fi action
Mission: Impossible III:
PG-13 for sequences of frenetic violence and menace, disturbing images and some sensuality.
"Frenetic menace?"
The best is "Cat in the Hat"- PG, for mild crude humor and some double-entendres. not to mention a movie NOT for kids
I'm so glad to see "Mild peril" listed. When I first saw that listed as a reason, I laughed for three days.
Van Helsing - PG-13 for non-stop creature action violence.
Oh man. Mild bullying, mild sci-fi action, non-stop creature action violence. Good stuff. I may have to update this.
These are great. You did a fabulous job, Davey.
I always laugh a bit when I see the rating "For Thematic Content" or "Thematic Material"
Wow, this movie is so bad-ass it's been rated for having themes!
This is literally the funniest thing I've seen all week.
Yeah, "thematic elements" is always a good one. Even "language," or "brief language" often amuses me. I know I'm wary about letting my children-to-be watch movies with themes, or where characters speak (or speak briefly).
Clearly you missed one of the best.
Underworld was rated R for "vampire violence"
One of the oddest is for Kite Runner:
Rated PG-13 for strong thematic material including the sexual assault of a child, violence and brief strong language.
Most of those sound like pretty accurate descriptions to me.
Awesome
Listing the specific content that has cause a film to be given a certain rating was probably intended to help parents know just what exactly is in a film and rather it's appropriate for their kids to see.
I think it's had the opposite effect as the current ratings makes it far easier for kids to find sex and nudity in films.
Before an R rated film might have sex and nudity but that's not always the case. Now with the content listed right on the poster/DVD kids can goes straight to the stuff their parents don't want them to see.
Funny.
By the way My Fellow American's was rated PG-13 not PG as listed.
Had HP6 been rated PG-13 it would have been a lot more interesting instead of the dull, watered- down version we got ensuring a PG rating.
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!