Infidelity expert Ruth Houston's advice for Tiger Woods' wife.
Photo: AP/ Richard Drew
Two days ago I wrote an article entitled What Tiger Woods’ Wife Should Do if the Infidelity Rumors Are True.
This was a follow-up article to my previous article entitled An Infidelity Expert’s Advice to Tiger Woods Wife.
As an infidelity expert frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity in the news, I am often asked what advice I would give the wife of high profile cheater, or the wife of a celebrity who is suspected of having an extramarital affair.
In view of recent news reports of Tiger Woods’ possible involvement with 3 different women – Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, and Kalika Moquin - I think it’s time to revisit some of the suggestions in those two articles.
Especially since it now seems that some of the rumors may be true.
Elin Nordegren Woods and Other Women Can Benefit from this Advice
The first article, An Infidelity Expert’s Advice to Tiger Woods Wife contained 18 suggestions, including coping strategies for dealing with suspected infidelity, or rumors of infidelity. Based on my 15 years of infidelity research, this article includes detailed information how to go about uncovering the truth without unnecessarily raising issues of trust.
The follow-up article, What Tiger Woods’ Wife Should Do if the Infidelity Rumors Are True
contained 17 suggestions as to what Elin Nordegren Woods should do if the infidelity rumors about Tiger turned out to be true.
Although each case of infidelity is different, and no two extramarital affairs or the circumstances surrounding them are alike, other betrayed wives or women who find themselves in this situation can benefit from this advice.
Below are 8 key points from my infidelity advice to Elin Nordegren Woods.
NOTE: Links to the original articles, related infidelity articles, infidelity resources, free infidelity tip sheets and special reports, appear at the end of this article.
Expert Infidelity Advice for Tiger Woods’ Wife – 8 Key Points
• Experts all agree that you should examine all the facts and have several non-confrontational discussions with the cheater about the cheating, in order to be able to make an intelligent decision about what to do. Delay making a final decision about how to handle the matter until you are in possession of all the facts. See the free tip sheet entitled Go or Stay – How to Decide Whether to Give a Cheater a Second Chance.
• Don’t speculate. Investigate. Separate rumor from truth. Since you are not bound by the same financial constraints as the average wife who finds out her husband is having an affair, hire a reputable private investigator who specializes in infidelity investigations to check out names, dates, places, incidents, and verify the facts. See the article entitled When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate?
• Get a grip on your emotions. If you can’t discuss the situation without losing your temper, have a neutral third party present when discussing the affair. (counselor, religious leader, or trusted family friend.) You’ve already seen how quickly the situation can spiral out of control.
• Try to make an accurate assessment of the situation. Determine whether or not the affair(s) pose(s)a serious threat to your marriage. See the article entitled Will He Leave You for Her?
• Don’t waste any time or energy, or lower your dignity by attempting to confront the other women. ( Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin) This is about you and Tiger, -- your husband and your marriage -- not about them. See the article entitled What NOT to Do If He’s Cheating on You and the free tip sheet entitled 5 Things You Shouldn’t Do If He’s Cheating on You
• If your decision is to save your marriage, engage the services of a qualified marriage and family counselor with extensive experience in handling issues of infidelity. Not every marriage counselor is trained or experienced in handling extramarital affairs. For a referral, call the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) or visit their website. See the article entitled Why Women Stay with Men Who Cheat.
• Get tested for HIV/AIDS even if Tiger insists that he never had unprotected sex. And insist that Tiger be tested too. Your health and maybe even your life could be at stake (One of his alleged mistresses supposedly has a history of sleeping with married men.)
• Don’t blame yourself. See the article entitled Are Wives to Blame When Their Husbands Cheat? Realize that the affair is not necessarily a negative reflection on you, or an indication of problems in your marriage. Infidelity studies have found that happy husbands cheat too, and that even good marriages are not immune to infidelity. See the articles entitled Happy Husbands Cheat, Too and Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat
*** © copyright 2009 Ruth Houston
Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news. She is the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog.
For more information on infidelity, cheating husbands, and extramarital affairs, see:
What Tiger Woods’ Wife Should Do if the Infidelity Rumors Are True
An Infidelity Expert’s Advice to Tiger Woods Wife
When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate?
Go or Stay – How to Decide Whether to Give a Cheater a Second Chance (free tip sheet)
Why the Wife is Still the Last to Know
Is He Cheating? Is She cheating? – 21 Ways You Can Tell (free tip sheet)
What NOT to Do If He’s Cheating on You
5 Things You SHOULDN’T Do If He’s Cheating on You (free tip sheet)
Why Women Stay with Men Who Cheat
Are Wives to Blame When Their Husbands Cheat?
Top 10 Reasons Why Men and Women Cheat
What Should I Do If I Think He or She Is Cheating on Me?
Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (softcover book) (e-book version)
How to Catch a Cheating Husband
Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate
Free Infidelity Tip Sheets and Special Reports
Comments
I can count on one hand, the entertainers that took their marriage vows seriously. One particular entertainer married over 60 years, had stated that there was plenty of opportunity, but he wouldn't hurt his wife for the world. To me, that's a real man. But these cases are rare. Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the world, but as a husband, he lacks restraint. If he can go with another woman, for over 2 years, he has no conscience. Not to mention the other affairs. I think that Erin, should think hard about the man she thought she married. If there is a divorce, Erin didn't lose anything, as she never had Tiger to begin with. If it was one occasional fling, but this is not the case. And even then you have to get over the hurt. Also, you have to look at Erin's Sexual Life and wonder if she too has strayed. One person's opinion.
Glad I'm not married! I can't believe people's comments about questioning Tigger's wife's fidelity as cause for his actions. Hey, folks, his wife has been pregnant for the last 3 years or recovering from it! Where is your heads. I think Tigger is right about trying to keep it private. Lots of money is being lost, plus the details that come out the more comical he becomes. Or should I say tragic? No, tragic is 30,000 more American troops being deployed to die or get injured to save another President who is dumb.
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