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Seattle Motorcycle Travel Examiner

Photo shamelessly stolen from the internet.


Two fleas were on the beach at Bike Week. One was lying on a towel enjoying the sun while the other was shivering under a blanket.

The1st one said "why so cold"?

The 2nd one replied " I rode in a biker's beard, on a motorcycle all the way from up north".

The 1st one said "Well, here's how ya do it. Ya go into the girls’ room at a biker bar and hop into a bush & you'll stay nice & warm for the whole ride".

Next year, same fleas, same beach, same thing, 1 sunning himself & 1 freezin'. The 1st one said "Didn't ya do what I said"?

The 2nd one said "Hell yeah, I jumped in the bush, was nice and warm, fell asleep, next thing I knew I woke up freezin' my ass off in that bikers beard again".

. . . . . . . . . .

A duded-up city biker walks into a seedy tavern & sits at the bar, next to a grizzled old biker with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After 15 minutes of sitting there staring at it, the newbie asks "If ya ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?".

The old veteran slowly turns his head & says "Nah, you go right ahead".

Eagerly, the newbie starts chowing down. He gets nearly to the bottom of the bowl & notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight shocks him, & he immediately barfs the chili back in the bowl.

The old biker quietly says " Yep, that's as far as I got, too".

. . . . . . . . . .

A little guy is sitting in a bar staring at his drink for over an hour. A big ugly biker walks up to the bar, takes the little guy’s drink and gulps it down, then looks at the little guy as if to say ‘now what you going to do about it?’

The little guy starts to cry. The big guy say's,"Ah now I didn't mean to make you cry, I hate to see a man cry."

The little guy explains, "I woke up late this morning missed an important meeting, my boss fired me. I went to the parking lot to find somebody had stolen my car and I had no Insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home, found my wife in bed with another man and my dog bit me. Then I came in here trying to get up the courage to kill myself, and now you went and drank the damn potion."

. . . . . . . . . .

Two men, a cowboy & a biker, were sentenced to die on the same day and were waiting in the room where they would meet their maker.

The warden asks the cowpoke if he has a last request. He replies “I love line dancing, could you play 'Achey Breaky Heart' for me one last time?"

The warden asks the biker the same question. He replies " PLEASE, kill me first!"

. . . . . . . . . .

A biker was packing his saddlebags for a ride to Sturgis as his 3yr old daughter played in the grass close by. All of a sudden she held two fingers in the air and said " Daddy, look at this".

The biker thought he'd make her laugh, so he put her fingers in his mouth & pretended to eat them.

A couple minutes later he noticed his kid sitting there staring at her fingers looking bewildered. He asked her what was wrong, to which she replied “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BOOGER?"

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, Seattle Motorcycle Travel Examiner

David Heiniger has been riding motorcycles since he was 12 years old. Over the years he has ridden all kinds for motorcycles from dirt bikes to cruisers to sport bikes. His passion is sport-touring. In this column he will cover all aspects of the sport touring life, from great riding roads in...

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