Moms can help daughters avoid body image issues with simple changes

People Magazine lets Tyra Banks talk about body image

I don't know a single woman that doesn't have at least one issue with an area of her body. For me, it's my stomach and thighs. They're never firm enough, no matter how much I exercise. As a mother of two daughters, I worry about how my perceptions of my body will affect their own images of their bodies. Luckily I came across an article this morning on the Washington Post about a book coming out soon that deals with just such a topic. I feel like this is a must-read for all parents - not just moms, but dads as well.

The book is written by Dara Chadwick and is called You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies - Even When We Don't Love Our Own. Doesn't the title alone bring back some memories from Mom, even if the comment had the best of intentions? The book is about making simple changes in your life that your daughters will see and pick up on, and hopefully help create a healthy idea of what bodies should look like or at the very least keep the door open for a dialogue about body image.

Here are just a sampling of her tips: 

• Don't focus on your weight in conversations. Find things you like about yourself and bring that up when chatting with friends or your daughters (obviously when the situation calls for it - you don't need to just burst out with "I love my arms! They're so toned!" when everyone else is talking about the crisis in the Middle East).
   
• Similarly, learn to accept a compliment instead of deflecting it. "Oh no, I don't look good at all. If the lighting was better you'd see the dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep." Sound like something you'd say? Try this: "Thank you." Short and sweet!
   
• Watch your language in the dressing room. Focus on the cut of the pants or blouse, not that they make you look overweight.
   
• Last tip: let your daughter see you eat normally. If you are always drinking diet soda and eating a salad, it sends the message that you're worried about what you eat and are trying to not gain weight. Go out, have dessert, and enjoy it. Eat healthy, but also indulge now and then to show that it's ok to do that, too. It's all about moderation, right?

Of course no one expects these tips to be a miracle cure that will suddenly make you love your body. That just isn't going to happen. These tips can, however, help you become aware of all the little ways you might be influencing your daughter about body image. It probably wouldn't hurt to put those magazines away, either! Who needs to be reminded that a celebrity's body bounced back so quickly after baby (and in most cases with the help of a personal trainer and chef, not just pilates and breastfeeding)? Change happens slowly, but there's no time like the present to get started! Good luck!

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