Sometimes simply waiting for your child to come out of school amongst other parents can make you feel like you’re back in middle school with an awkward hairstyle, rubberbaned braces, and a training bra. Why? Mommy cliques. Yes, sometimes we as adults don’t grow out of this juvenile mentality where it is okay to leave others out.
The most important thing is to evaluate why you worry or want to be a part of that clique. Is it simply because you want to be? If so, you should really take a step back and think about if this is the type of behavior you want to teach your children. Children learn better by seeing and if they see this behavior, it could very well transfer to them, allowing them to believe being in such cliques are okay. Or, that the desire to be popular is important.
You should, as their parent, want to teach them self-confidence. Self-confidence that is gained by making others feel bad is only a mask and will never last. Rather help them gain confidence in who they are as a person or their talents.
However, if the clique has both you and your child left out, you may want to check and see whether or not trying to creating a friendly relationship for the benefit of your child(ren) will be worth it. Especially if your child has create a meaningful friendship with a child of one of the cliquey mothers. By all means, do not force a friendship, rather be simply friendly.
Here are some ways to introduce yourself to other mothers:
- Invite them out for coffee.
- Schedule a one on one play date with your children.
- Speak first. Often a simple hi, or relatable topic often will suffice.
Being “cliquey” and excluding one out simply because you can is a form of bullying. Bullying – a topic that has caught media and the news by storm because of the concentrated negativity surrounding it. If someone isn’t confident in themselves, bullying can severely affect them – this can be possible with parents, too. Instead of leaving others out, be nice, cordial, and friendly to everyone! Most importantly, be mindful of what you are teaching your children.