The End of Bait & Switch!
We live in an era where everyone claims they want honesty. And yet it’s pretty much expected when it comes to men dating and pursuing relationships with women they’re going to put their “best foot” forward, dress to impress, and say whatever they think women want to hear in order to get them to let them in physically or emotionally.
Let’s face it games are for players!
Bait & switch works in a number of various ways but essentially what it comes down to is people delay or avoid revealing their true motives or “authentic selves” until after they get what they want. Oftentimes this leads people into pretending they’re happy being “platonic friends” when in reality they want a romantic relationship or simply a purely sexual one.
In 1990, a fraternity brother of mine from Gary, Indiana wrote down what he called ‘The Four Modes of Verbal Communication’ on a napkin. Twenty years later, he was on a stage in London, England speaking to a jam packed auditorium of single men looking to learn from the man some refer to as ‘The Godfather of Direct Game’ with women.
His name is Alan Roger Currie, a graduate of Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, and the author of a popular book for single heterosexual men entitled, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking. The eBook version of ‘Mode One’ was released in December 2001, the paperback version in March 2006, and now the long-awaited audiobook version will be released on Monday, August 4, 2014.
I had the chance to chat with Alan and he gave me the opportunity to ask him a few questions related to his book. Alan is a fellow Examiner.com Columnist, so he and I have at least two things in common. The following contains his views on the advantages of always being honest.
Where did you come up with the name ‘Mode One’?
In October of 1990, I asserted that all of men’s verbal communication styles toward women fell into four general styles or four distinct modes of interpersonal communication.
Can you briefly describe the difference between the four ‘modes’?
Mode One is when you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in a bold, confident, upfront, specific, straightforwardly honest manner.
Mode Two is when a man expresses his desires and interests to women in a cautious, polite, ‘beat-around-the-bush’ manner. He tends to sometimes be very vague and ambiguous.
Mode Three is when a guy fails to be honest with women about why he really wants to share their company. Either by not approaching women at all or by initiating a conversation with them, but then lying about their true desires and interests.
Mode Four is when a guy reaches a point where he literally just hates women. He is full of anger, frustration, resentment, and misogynistic bitterness.
So you would classify the young man (Elliot Rodger) who went on the murder spree earlier this year in Santa Barbara, California as being ‘Mode Four’ then?
Exactly. The same would be true of George Sodini in 2009 near Pittsburgh.
Can you explain how your book, ‘Mode One,’ would potentially prevent someone from carrying out ‘Mode Four’ behavior with others?
As I say in the eBook version and paperback version of ‘Mode One,’ as well as my upcoming audiobook version, no man starts out in a ‘Mode Four’ state of mind. All men who exhibit Mode Four Behavior were usually those who spent days, weeks, or months first exhibiting Mode Two Behavior or Mode Three Behavior.
Why the transition from Mode Two to Mode Four? And similarly, from Mode Three to Mode Four? Why not Mode One to Mode Four?
When a man is exhibiting Mode Two Behavior, he is not really being himself. He is too afraid of being criticized, disliked, or insulted. When a man is Mode Three, he is deeply afraid of not getting what he wants. He hates rejection. Both forms of behavior are fear-based behavior. When you exhibit fear-based behavior, you tend to behave in the manner that you think is expected of you (Mode Two) and/or in the manner that you think is going to produce your desired results (Mode Three). So in other words, if I make changes to my behavior solely and specifically for the sake of attracting a woman’s attention and companionship … and she does not “reward” my modifications to my behavior with her romantic or sexual companionship, then I am going to feel ticked off.
Whereas, a Mode One man does not change or modify his actions, behavior, or manner of verbal expression in order to please and impress women. He is just himself.
Do you have a particular demographic group your book is designed to help?
I would say any single heterosexual male who is romantically or sexually frustrated to one degree or another. Age-wise, I hear mostly from men 18-29, although I have many other clients who are in their thirties, forties, and fifties.
I would think you probably hear from many college students.
Yes! All types. Jocks, frat boys, nerds and geeks.
Is your ‘Mode One’ philosophy specifically geared toward the idea of ‘hooking up’ for casual sex? Or do you also help men find a long-term girlfriend or a future wife?
Great question. I hear this question a lot. I would say roughly three-fourths of my clients are looking to have more success attracting a companion for short-term non-monogamous sex, short-term monogamous sex, or long-term non-monogamous sex. Approximately 20-25% of my male clients are looking to connect with someone in a long-term monogamous manner as well. My own brother used ‘Mode One’ to get with a woman who is now his wife of six years.
I read where you use the term ‘FunClubbin’. What is FunClubbin’, and why should men avoid it?
I actually picked that term up from one of our fraternity brothers when I was in college. His name was Charlie. “FunClubbin” is when a man is ‘pretending’ as though he is totally content with being nothing more than a woman’s purely platonic friend, but deep-down, he either wants that woman to be his next girlfriend, or he wants that woman to be his new casual sex lover. However he lacks the confidence or courage to just come right out and say that to the woman. Essentially he places himself into the woman’s “friend zone.”
Is that representative of Mode Two or Mode Three Behavior?
Mode Three. Mode Two guys are honest with women at some point. Maybe not immediately, but at some point. Mode Three guys are never honest with women.
When did you become 100% convinced that Mode One Behavior was the way to go?
When I started having sex with women within less than an hour or two after I first met them. And without them being inebriated! (laughs)
You have met women, and seduced them into having sex with you that quickly as a direct result of communicating your sexual desires and interests to them in a ‘Mode One’ manner?
Yes. At least two or three dozen times in my adult life. I think the quickest same-day was about ten or fifteen minutes after I first met the woman.
Are you saying that this is not possible at all if you are Mode Two or Mode Three?
I would not say it is impossible, but it is unlikely. If the woman is the one making the first move because of a strong attraction for the man, then I would say a same-day seduction could happen using any of the modes of behavior. But when it comes to seducing a woman who normally does not indulge in same-day sex, Mode One is really the only way to go. And in addition, when you get rejected after being Mode One with a woman … you never feel angry, frustrated, or bitter, unlike when you get rejected after being Mode Two or Mode Three.
When will the audiobook version of ‘Mode One’ will be released? And how can men download a free copy of it?
The official release is scheduled for Monday, August 4, 2014. It will be available on Audilbe.com, which is the division of Amazon.com. Anyone who signs up for a no-obligation 30-Day Trial with Audible.com and downloads ‘Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking” as their very first audiobook will be able to listen to it for free.
I must warn your readers though. Some chapters in the audiobook do include profanity and X-rated language, so the ‘verbally prudish’ types need to be prepared for that.