When you find yourself in an unsettled mood, even though you don't know why, it's best to limit interaction with others. If you choose to press on you set the stage for problematic communication. Unless you are absolutely certain, you can carry through on your verbalized threats, “Don’t make them.” You’re not nearly as tough as you are pretending to be. You are using a manipulative strategy to achieve a predetermined outcome. One of which you’ve only just begun to sample the consequences. Once you place your feet upon the path of self-knowledge through recognized experience, there is no going back.
You are incapable of making right a situation that has long since ‘pooped its pimples.’ Now, I’m not one who is accustomed to handing out advice; for all things happen exactly and precisely as they are supposed to for reasons we can’t see, but in this particular case, you are barking up the wrong tree. In other words, you are openly vindictively playing with dynamite, thinking it won’t explode. The problem is: dynamite has a tendency to go off in full animated horrendous splendor.
You are racing off in several different directions, halfcocked. What’s wrong with that? Not a dog gone thing! IF you are a mind to accept the preloaded skunked avenue of stink established by your choices, then by all means FULL speed ahead and may the best man win. However, any time you do something with a predetermined outcome, the result in no wise resembles the sought after goal.
That’s the name of the binocular game: “Association with truth.” You have no way of knowing the various levels attached to your blatant harmless actions. You want one thing, the other person, another thing altogether. You are trying, by manipulative measures, to force an issue to a presupposed so-called desired end. “Aint gonna happen, captain!” This steamboat is paddling up the wrong stream.
“Wake up,” your soul calls to you from the shore of motivation’s land of intent. The on-going dilemma started in the year of 1989. Where were you? Was it a dream? “Just open your eyes to see what’s really going on, now!” Look around at the remnants of sweltering story you refuse to release. “Don’t be afraid of what you see.” It is now 24 years later. (Or, is it?) You can’t replace something that isn’t missing. You didn’t lose out. You didn’t miss the boat; it hasn’t sailed yet. Stop with your mealy mouthed revelry of despair. It’s really rather paltry and trite. The energy you have engaged could penetrate an anointed place IF you are so inclined to experience a gulf of discharge of deeply lodged argumentative bogus thoughts.
Now is the time (season) for your self-vested book of sorrow to be cast into the sea of forgetfulness never to be remembered anymore. Turn the pages of the new book: “An extraordinary day in the ordinary day in the life of richly endowed human filled to overflowing with talent, sexuality, and incredible artistic endeavor.” In this book of, Abrupt Arousing, you are presented with the real question of what you are desperately seeking the answer to. “What do you really want?” So, what if you have changed your mind and don’t want what you always convinced yourself you did?
And, so what IF what you want IS exactly what you’ve always had, but now it occurs to you that you seem to want to change the other to suit your idea of a better way? Therein lays the dilemma. No change except that which jingles in your pocket. Instead of acting in haste to sever a situation, just give yourself some additional breathing room before making your next impulsive move. Just accept, for now, “I don’t know” or “I don’t want anything because IN TRUTH I have always gotten everything I have ever wanted and I’m bored to death!
The next truth, you may want to wrestle with, (just for kicks), is how to pierce the veil of death; to see beyond the ‘apparent appearance’ of things. That little devilish confrontation would and has been an irascible ongoing constant plea inside of you but you’ve never been able to put your hands on it. And, incidentally, you have been so masterful at covering it up.
The nagging dislocating idea that no matter what you will ever accomplish will one day be unexpectedly snatched away does not ‘sit good with you’ at all. “Face it; Life’s a bitch and then you die!” How many times has your mind wandered into a realm of the unanswerable? Then, before you can carry it to any satisfyingly decent conclusion, you quickly fill it with meaningless distractions simply because you didn’t want to deal with the unanswerable reality.
“Has it happened yet?” A dissolving away of everything has haunted you for as long as you can remember but you didn’t know how to put words to what you wanted to convey. “Has what happened?” Life, as you understand it, with its foreboding inexplicable uncertainties. Your one true motivation is directed from a sphere of esoteric knowledge of ineffable origin and yet you conduct your everyday affairs as if you are without a deeply ingrained knowing. Every action is presented upon the hour facing you in a useless attempt to escape from: “Prison of mind”, we as, human being, are all born into. We are all doing time here on Earth, You can get with that, but you certainly don’t like the idea of dissolving away.
When you really take the time and occasion to contemplate the fruits of dying, what do you conjure up? When you seek to understand your current life path, has it brought you any resolution you can live with? There is a place, you can go and know, without question, “…a peace that passeth all understanding…” (Paraphrased) I can’t show it to you.
You must find it for yourself. It’s not hidden. It’s in plain view. Everywhere you look, it’s right here! (In front of your eyes; you bump into it every day.) Some may refer to it as: “Samadhi the blissful experience of plunging within into the deep experience of your true self.” Others may express it as salvation, nirvana, oneness with God, unity of the soul, conversation with your Holy Guardian Angel. But, no matter what authoritative term, you choose to use, you can KNOW the feeling of perfect tranquility.
Superficiality brings with its own debilitating results! You KNOW when you are not being true to yourself. You are perfectly aware when you are trying to manipulate situations for the best outcome. Give it a rest! Just let things unfold as they will without your constant interpreting and interference. Do you honestly believe you make one bit of difference? Think, again. Acknowledging, embracing and accepting reality as presented is the beginning of genuine wisdom. Funny, but it has a strange way of eliminating superficiality.