Men and women are very distinct creatures. While men have a tendency to be straightforward, women are often not so simple. However, in the world of dating, both men and women often use hints and insinuations to steer the person of his/her attention in the right direction. Frankly, sometimes it is difficult to understand what is said and what is meant.
Communicating when dating - - especially right before or during a first date or a first few dates or even in a relationship - - can be tricky. You are just learning about your person - - what he or she likes, dislikes, reading facial expressions and body language, etc. Sometimes you might need a specialist or a book or some other authority about how to interpret communication from the opposite sex. Right?
Dating is full of uncertainty…and guess what? It stays that way no matter what your age. Some may think that the uncertainty is what makes dating exciting. Others may say it just hurts the heart. It is the waiting to see if someone will call - - or maybe fall for you or vice versa - - for that matter. Sometimes, though, the signals are mixed and can get a little too confusing. Frankly, that situation can be worse than a brush-off, since you are not sure whether to hang on or cut bait. To be fair, both men and women are capable of sending mixed signals, and this type of behavior can ruin a relationship - - even before it gets started.
In some cases, a person sending mixed signals knows exactly what he or she is saying and doing. When that happens, the person is generally a player. But, in other cases, people send mixed signals and are not even realizing that they are doing it. These people have deeper issues - - some deeper than others - - but issues (think: baggage) nonetheless.
What happens when you have an event or a signal that totally throws you out of whack and you don’t know how to interpret it? All of a sudden, you feel like you do not know how to act or be with the other person? Or worse, you are embarrassed? Many times things are said or done when people are nervous or anxious or embarrassed. Sometimes one person will say something and think they are totally clear and articulate and that the other person receiving the message will totally get it. Sadly, that is not the case in most instances. So, what to do?
If your person is someone that you really like and was worthy of your time and attention in the first place,
- Open your mind to whatever the confusing messages might mean. Do not assume.
- You can walk away and find someone else or whatever. Easy peasy, right?
- Take a step back and consider what is really going on with him or her.
- Ask for clarification.
- Do not assume. Never assume - - assumptions are rarely correct - - you know what they say about people who assume – right?
Of course, there are many things that you can do. But, if your person was worth getting together with in the first place, then he or she is worth your time to figure out. What if the person you are walking away from is really great? Or you think is really great? In this day and age, dates are a dime a dozen. Sadly, quality people are not. A mixed signal can be unmixed easily if you care to do so. The bottom line is: communicate!
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