When caring for someone we love, we want to make all the right moves, research all the options and make all the right decisions. Unfortunately we are human and, as humans, it is inevitable that we will make mistakes. Even those of us who have helped hundreds of families through their caregiving journey are not immune to making mistakes as emotions can cloud judgment when it comes to caring for someone we love.
Tips for the less than perfect
- Forgive yourself – Beating yourself up for mistakes is an exercise in futility. Holding on to mistakes doesn’t change the situation and it doesn’t help you move forward.
- Forgive others – Assuming the rest of your family is human as well; they are also open to making mistakes and deserve the opportunity to be forgiven as well. Side note: this applies even if they don’t admit the mistake or ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is really something we do more for ourselves as holding onto un-forgiveness is unhealthy and dangerous. (http://theworkingcaregiver.org/2012/08/15/reconciliation-and-your-well-being/ )
- Ask for forgiveness – If you know that your actions have caused hurt to others, put your pride aside and ask for forgiveness.
- Learn from your mistakes – every day gives us all a new opportunity to live into a different way of being in the lives of those around us. Letting go of the missteps will make it easier to move forward.
Remember, caregiving is not about you, it is about the person you are caring for and what they need. Whatever they are going through both health wise and emotionally is overwhelming to them as well and they need your attention to be on helping them not floundering through shoulda-coulda-woulda scenarios about situations you cannot re-do.
“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” - Bruce Lee