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Mistakes that could potentially doom the start of new relationship


 

We all know and crave that irresistible moment when we first meet a new guy or girl that could possibly become a love interest.  We say cute things to impress them, we can't get that goofy grin off of our face, and we long for a moment alone with them.  But then, all of a sudden, it stops.  The other person isn't returning your calls, they are mysteriously always busy and have left you dumb founded, pondering what you did wrong.   People have to remember that the first few times you get together with someone new can be so crucial and sensitive and that yes, in fact, first impressions do last.  Here are some examples of easy mistakes people can make that doom a relationship and what you can do about it. 

Problem: The Internet. People can find out almost anything about another person via Internet today.  We can Google them and see their background.  We can add them as a friend on Facebook and stalk like no other.  We can IM them every time their status comes off of away.  You have to understand that unlike our close friends, this new person has little or no history with you.  One random "dirty" Facebook update or accidently clicking send on the wrong IM can make this person run the opposite way.

Solution:  If you're a young adult and looking into colleges or even a job, it's always best to change some privacy settings on your Facebook.  You don't want a potential employer (or significant other) to see that drunken pictures with your top off or where you're passed out in a pile of beer cans.  Like I mentioned above, first impressions can sometimes be your only impression.  For those of you out there who are those people who feel the need to IM a person the second they come off of away, give it a rest.  We all like a little chase now and then.

Problem: You make a dumb comment. Even the smartest people make the occasional dumb comment . I once asked a guy I was trying to impress where the Texas Chain Saw Massacre occurred.  I know, idiot. It's hard to turn back after you've been labeled "dumb" early on.

Solution: Think fast and try to follow up you're dumb comment with something somewhat intelligent.  We all have our "blond" moments and shouldn't be judged for it.  Can't think of anything on the spot?  Laugh it off.  Research has actually shown that both men and women find the quality of being able to laugh at yourself an attractive one.

Problem: You left a weird message: Whether you sent a text message where the T9 used the wrong word and you didn't notice (I thought I had texted "grad school" one time and the phone actually wrote "head school") or you left a voice mail and were so nervous you started rambling about your grandmother's famous chocolate pie, these kind of things can send out the wrong vibe.  Of course, it's all unintentional, but the other person you're trying to impress doesn't know that.

Solution: Check your text messages before pressing send! I can't say that enough seeing as my T9 has sent my friends into either fits of laughter or hoards of confusion.  Also, if you're really trying to make an impact on someone, make sure you call them when there aren't any distractions going on around you. That means not while you're walking in the middle of the city and there's noise every where and most definitely not when you're not at a rager of a party.

Problem: Drunkeness: We've all been nervous in anticipations of going to see a new special someone, so why not have a glass of wine or crack open a beer...or two...or three...or...drunk. Sometimes people get so nervous that they go to the extreme with drinking just to calm down.  This never turns out well when you end up slurring your words (while confessing how much you like them) or blacking out and passing out and then in the morning have this gut feeling that this person probably will not call you back.

Solution: Calm down and limit yourself. Having one glass of one wine or one beer is not going to destroy your whole night.  If you really like this person, make sure not to go overboard.

Mistakes and misunderstandings like the ones mentioned above can most definitely be overlooked and you two will end up happily ever after laughing about it years later.  However, there are those certain slip-ups that are irreversible and can end a relationship before it really began.

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