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Missing the Old You Before Being In A Relationship

Once the love is gone, there is nothing to hold on to.
Once the love is gone, there is nothing to hold on to.

Before you were ever in a relationship you were care free and worry free right? A relationship brings with it a variety of emotions and sometimes they can have a negative impact. Every relationship is different from the last and each may contain different emotions. Some relationships contain jealousy, anger and insecurity while others may contain happiness, trust, and loneliness.

Just because someone’s relationship doesn’t have any jealousy or trust issues, doesn’t mean it is a perfect relationship. Having jealousy is for the most part, a natural feeling as long as it doesn’t consume you, though jealousy can lead to trust issues. You may not have trust issues in your significant other, but you may in other people.

All of these emotions can lead to you wanting what you had before the whole relationship. Are you getting tired of caring who he/she is talking to or hanging out with? Are you tired of fighting and getting that whole “Break-up” feeling? It is natural for people to miss how they felt before being in a relationship.

Before you make any rash decisions, think of how your life would change if you didn’t have him/her in it. Sure you would be happier and care free for a while but what happens when the loneliness starts setting in? Who will you joke around and flirt with late at night? Besides your friends, who could you run to that would fully understand you when things aren’t going so well? Your significant other may be the only one who truly knows everything about you. Sometimes it helps to write a pros and cons list of things that are good and bad about your relationship before ending it. Here are a few things to consider:

  1. Are you still in love with him/her? This is a major one because you may love him/her, but you may not be IN love. What’s the difference? Do you still feel the butterflies when they flirt with you? Can you still see a future with them? Are you always thinking about them or dreaming about them? Do you still care who they talk to or hang out with? Can you not bear to think of your life without them? This is what it means to be in love. To love someone is to care about them and worry about them. It means that you would not want them to be hurt and you want them to be happy. But to love someone means there are no other feelings attached meaning you don’t get jealous, you don’t feel jealousy and you can see your life without them being an intimate part of it.
  2. Would you be able to stand seeing them with someone else?
  3. Could you start over with someone else and build that strong connection you have with the one you’re with? Could you start over being intimate with another person and getting to know their family?
  4. Would you truly be happier in the long run without them in your life?

Sometimes people make rash decisions without thinking about the consequences. If you do decide to break up without thinking it through, what happens if you find out life without them isn’t what you expected? You may not be guaranteed a second chance. If by some miracle you do receive a second chance, he/she may not give their all to you just in case you decide to leave again. They will most likely guard their heart the best they can so you will not receive their ‘all’.

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