The joke goes something like this: Did you hear about the guy who left his banjo in the back seat of his unlocked car? When he returned, there were three more back there.
If you begin to search the MZ forums, you'll get a fairly quick lesson on the quirky sense of humor that the owners of these rare and odd German two-strokes share.
Here's an example:
Now here is the scoop on the TS250. Run for the hills, sell the sunbritches! Mine was a 1974. I bought this thing with 200 miles on the clock for $200. The previous owner was a serious wrench and he worked out most of the bugs. I have no idea what the top speed was, it would get squirrely at anything over 58 mph.
Expect the generator to have a short in the wiring. If you can find it, insulate it. There is a little door at the back of the seat where the tools live. Never open that door. You might find the tools.
If you are lucky enough to get it running, consider moving to Miami, Cuba or the former East Germany, where you can make a living fixing these things. If you decide to give up on fixing it, the eight foot long exhaust can makes a passable gutter downspout and the fork tubes can be use as pipe cleaners. Amazing how the chain will last almost forever in its totally enclosed housing, long, way long, after you have completely lost interest in the thing.
I had a kryptonite lock for it, I never used it. One morning I got up and discovered some bastard stole my lock and left the bike.
-Uri Crashovitch
Every single one I've see for sale had under 1000 miles on the clock. Most had under 500. Notable traits of this ugly little chunk include the aforementioned electrical shorts in the wimpy 6V system, the spark plug continually vibrating out of the cylinder head (which was actually a good thing because it meant the lump was running) and a continual drool of a most curious tar-like substance onto the garage floor. If you could manage to keep it running for 800 miles, the fork seals would start leaking. A forum exchange between owner's goes like this:
"I am thinking Hugo Chavez probably likes the old MZ."
"Well- I've heard from a couple of people in England and one from New Zealand. I guess they have a different perspective coming from a background of English singles and such. The all seem to think that once "set-up right" they're like rolling anvils."
"Maybe you could trick it into rolling anvilness by painting it duffer white."
"I expressly forbid any such acquistion."
A typical comment from many who perhaps dared to open the lid at the back of the seat, accidentally find the tools and actually work on it was: "I have taken that BVF carburetor apart at least five times trying to see what is wrong with it."
One enthusiastic owner offered a ray of hope with this advice:
"I probably had the only running example in the whole country. Check jet and needles are clean and set correctly. Most importantly keep the faith. Best of luck from over the pond."
Keep the faith? Really?
In closing, this:
Throw the whole thing in a dumpster and just keep the *****n' gas cap. It's engraved with a tally of ISDT victories or some such. It polishes up to make a nice belt buckle.
I bought one a few years ago with exactly 214 original miles on it. The motor was stuck fast. I called a buddy of mine from Albuquerque so he could laugh at me. Remarkably, he said he had a brand new engine sitting in a milk crate that I could have.
I got it as close to running as possible. Easy to read hand illustrated manuals are readily available for download. I got it to the point where when you turned on the key, the lights came on and the relay showed spark. I gave up. I painted it and scored a vintage red cafe seat on eBay and listed it on Craigslist. The guy who bought it it only wanted the seat. A Polish engineer bought the spare engine and other parts. I made three hundred dollars on the whole ordeal. It was about six hundred percent better profit than what I was expecting.
There you have it. The first quirky collectible classic motorcycle of 2013! Happy hunting.
It's gonna be a great year.
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