If you were to do an emotional audit of yourself, would you acknowledge that you are not all that happy? Happiness is not easy to gauge because its relative, but nonetheless, it’s a general state of mind that one often finds fleeting. What about misery? Now that is an emotion that most people can decipher. At least with misery there is an immediate pay off on the instant gratification associated to the expenditure of energy devoted to it. We hear the expression of misery in the way people extol their negativity. Our negative or pessimistic thoughts are often automatic and subconscious. One of the effects it has is the drive to solicit our need to bring attention to ourselves. Indeed, misery loves company. It can be said that as much as misery isn’t pleasant, it is a pattern we can fall into. It’s not of course our best operating behavior, but it may be an indicator of what lies beneath.
By default, many of us are negative. We may be pleasant on the outside, but on the inside, our self critic is very evident. It’s easy to imagine that the thin line between our inner world shows up on the external side. Living with chaos and confusion in the outer world reflects the type of relationship we have with ourselves.
Taking a brighter view in contrast is a more difficult emotion to achieve. There isn't an immediate pay off; true inner happiness takes time to develop. Lasting happiness comes from what you’re doing to nourish your mind with new and pleasant thoughts. This isn’t designed to minimize the real impact of life’s significant blows that come our way. How we react to them constructively is the difference between the individuals who adapt with strong coping skills and those who dwell in the negative muck. The habit of doing this repeatedly begins to cultivate a positive mindset. There is a lot of research done to study the intellectual habits of optimists. What the Positive Psychology Center has found is that optimists are more likely to be problem solvers because they anticipate the wide range of circumstances that happen to them. They are never surprise by trouble. Keeping the positive thoughts in line sight may help finding ways to bring a sense of control back into our reaches that are felt internally and seen in our outer world.