Last night's Bravo episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker," was titled “The Narcissist Meets the Inner Geek.”
As the episode begins, Patti is a guest speaker at an event, something she usually loves. This time she was on the hot seat, as the narrator asks her the questions. The main question he asked, was how she justifiably finds mates for people, when she is not married herself. But her answer showed that she has been through several relationships, and although not married, she truly knows what to look for in a match.
As Patti meets with her staff, Marisa has the first millionaire for her. His name is Justin Ross Lee, 30, who makes pocket squares and has amassed a fortune with his company called Pretentious Pocket. Patti knows that he lost his money a while back, but with his inheritance, he is back in the millionaire bracket. Listening to his bio, Patti was appalled at his arrogance, and his closing sentence was, “Patti, find me the best, I deserve nothing less.” Patti now wants take him down a few pegs before hooking him up and considers him a super douche.
Justin had his candidate, Michael Sartain, 36, an ex-military guy who, with his partner run the largest promotional company in Las Vegas. He loves to party and does not drink or do drugs. Patti cannot understand why he is still single, and will size him up when she meets him.
They decide they will do a disco mixer for these two guys, and she will be meeting with Justin first.
Justin is a socialite and wants to meet someone who can be on his arm at all the events. He does not want to agree to the cookie-cutter rules like, no sex before monogamy. Patti says she meets egotistical men like this all the time, and if he does not agree, out the door he goes. She asked him if he had a dog or a plant, and he said no. She does not feel that he can see anyone but himself, and she feels that if he could make love to his reflection, he would. He does not want a Jewish girl, because he is afraid she will wind up like Patti. She ordered him to buy a plant, and bring it to the mixer. When she told him it was a disco mixer, he told her that he was named best dressed but the N.Y. Times, and was not going to dress like the 70s. She told him not to come.
When Patti went to meet with Michael, she was not sure what his problem was. He lives in Las Vegas and is madly in love with astrophysics. His problem seems to be that he is bored by superficial women, and needs intellectual stimulation in the dating world. He is truly a nerd inside, but not outside. He loves sports and snowboarding and loved the idea of the 70s mixer.
As the staff interviewed the women, and found perfect matches for the two guys. She found great women for Michael, and all agreed they would move to Vegas if necessary. For mega-douche Justin, she found feisty women who would not put up with is ego. Before the mixer, the guys came in, Michael had an afro and looked cool, Justin brought a plastic plant, and Patti threw it on the floor. She told him it was plastic, just like his brain.
At the mixer, Justin could not stop talking about himself, and for his mini dates, he chose Ariane, an ex-Playboy centerfold and Alexandra, a Swedish model. Michael chose two women who had a lot in common with him; Cynthia, a beautiful Philippine woman who shared many of his interests and Andrea, whose father was in the Air Force and loves fast cars. For their master dates, Michael chose Andrea and Justin chose Ariane.
Michael met Andrea at Flightdeck, a combat simulator, where they got to fly airplanes while staying on the ground. Andrea stated that she usually did not date nerdy guys, but this excited her. Once they got in a dogfight, they took turns shooting each other down and both scored several direct hits. Although his previous flying experience gave him a leg up, she caught on quickly and had a great time. After that experience, they went to The Cellar, the restaurant where Richard Burton proposed to Elizabeth Taylor. He asked her about her bikini line of swimsuits. She told him how excited she was because they are themed around the World Cup, each representing a different country. Their dinner was wonderful, but she does not kiss on the first date, and truly hopes for another chance.
At Marina Del Rey, Justin was meeting Ariane by his yacht. He welcomed her aboard and popped the champagne. She had fun matching his banter. On the yacht, they changed into something more comfortable, and she had a Marilyn Monroe one-piece bathing suit and looked stunning. She told him in a date, she liked someone who is respectful and polite; he looked for honesty. Then he told her that he googled her, did a background check and found out that she was 42, not thirty, as she originally told him. She then announced the date was over, and she confessed to the cameras she was 35, that everyone in Hollywood lies about their age, but she was not 42.
Back in the office, Patti and Justin called Andrea to see how the date went. She said it was great, and told them about the flight simulator. They did see each other again, and got to kiss, which was good. When Michael came in, he had an ear-to-ear grin. After the first date, they have been out three times.
Next, Patti and Marisa called Ariane. She told them that she knew he would be an assh**e, but she never expected him to be a humongous one. He accused her at dinner of lying to him, and she declared the date over. When he came in, he told Patti it was a train wreck, that she was 42. Patti saw her driver’s license and confirmed her age as 35. After a few choice words, he was banished from her office.
Ariane and Justin never spoke again. Justin has returned to New York, where he found his perfect match … in his mirror.
Michael has flown to Los Angeles several times to see Andrea. He is helping her plan a swimsuit fashion show in Las Vegas.