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'Millionaire Matchmaker' helps ‘Mr. Superficial and the Nutjob Magnet’

Tonight's Bravo episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker," is titled “Mr. Superficial and the Nutjob Magnet.”

The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger
Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images

As the episode begins, the crew is discussing their weekend, when Justin walks in with a bruised lip and chipped tooth. He had a jet skiing accident over the weekend, then Patti hobbles in with a broken toe, because she was trying to get her point across to her beau, David and walked into his metal chair. Patti states that Snaggletooth will find clients, and Patti Limpty Dimpty will hobble over to meet them. However, the worst part; she cannot wear heels.

First client is Rob Mione 47, originally from Brooklyn, N.Y., now living in Beverly Hills, with a worth of around ten million and is an optician to the stars. He does not want a yacht because it does not make your penis bigger. He was married for ten years and wants to be married again. He loves slender blondes with behinds like a little boy. Patti believes he is the most shallow person ever.

The second client is Dean Dunn 37, from Orange County, who has two kids. He owns three cross-fit gyms. He married his high school sweetheart, but he caught her cheating on him and divorced her the next day. He likes wild girls, and Patti is sure he is attracting crazies.

Patti met Rob at Sapori Restaurant, and he told her he has not been meeting the women he deserves. He has been divorced for nine years and would like to meet a woman in L.A., who has something the rest do not have; a job. Patti feels that Robbie jokes too much and is masking his insecurities. Patti questions him finding out what is interesting about him, besides money. She is having a hard time chipping away the façade. He has been dating much younger women, and she also gave him a stern admonishment about that. She told him about the mixer, the two drink maximum and no sex before monogamy rule and told him to write down five things interesting about him.

Dean Dunn came to Patti’s office to meet with her. He has been dating for four years since his divorce, but his dating experience has been horrible. He wants an athletic girl who is in shape. His celebrity crush is Olivia Wilde. He has picked a few nut jobs since his divorce, one who he found cheating while doing ecstasy and another was abusive when alcohol was added. Patti gave him the rules, and he agreed.

Now they must find Christie Brinkley types for Robbie and Olivia Wilde types for Dean. The interviews were a riot, as usual and Patti asked them questions in her own direct way.

The mixer was held in the Hollywood Museum in the Max Factor building. Before it started, she spoke to both guys. Robbie was hooked up to a zapper, and if Patti found him being superficial, she was going to zap him. Patti lost count of the times she had to zap Robbie, but in the end, when they chose the women, the both chose Emily from Australia and one other for their mini-date. According to the rules, they each have a mini date with her, and she gets to choose who she wants to date.

As both men met separately with Emily, she seemed to gel with Dean, and when she was with Robbie, he told her how many girls he met and went on dates with, Mr. Superficial came out again, but Patti did not have the zapper. The other women he met asked him if he remembered her from about a year ago when she was with him in a group, not as a date.

Dean chose Emily; the girl from Australia, and Robbie chose Sherry, but because he did not remember her, she declined. Now Patti had to choose Robbie’s date, and she chose Lyndsie for him. Although she was not sure about being chosen last; she was told by Patti that she was the one Patti chose for him, but Robbie was too superficial to see that.

Dean and Emily went on a helicopter ride over the beach that was very enjoyable. For dinner they went to Laguna Beach. As they talked, he asked her if she minded the fact that he had kids and she asked if they had their daddy’s dimples. Each one has one dimple on opposite sides. How adorable!

Robbie picked Lyndsie up in an old Bentley convertible because she was English. They drove down Hollywood Boulevard. She is looking for a relationship. She stated what she liked, and he said that she was a hot, quirky, female version of him. For dinner, they went to Beso, one of his favorite restaurants, and he rented the place for the two of them. He played the piano for her and even fed her. They hit is off completely.

The following day, Patti spoke to Emily, who described the date and told Patti they were going to see each other again. When Dean came in, it was a totally different story. He said that he tried to contact her, but she blew him off. She called her right back and asked her if this was true, she stated that she had to work and could not make it. Finally, Patti told her she was full of it and hung up on her and took her name out of the file.

David came in with his iPad and had pictures that Lyndsie sent him of her and Robbie. Patti called her, and she was thrilled with him and the date.

When Robbie came in, he told Patti he liked her a lot and was sorry he did not pick her from the beginning. Patti asked him if they had sex, and he hesitated. Then he admitted that they did not, they just fooled around. He is giving her a monogamous agreement this weekend when they see each other again. Patti told him to keep his pickle in his pants until he knows her better.

Dean and Emily never spoke to each other again, and he is back at his gym trying to avoid nut jobs.

Robbie has left his superficial self behind and sent Patti pictures from his last visit with Lyndsie in Arizona and by the looks of it, they are very much in love.

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