A normal marriage is hard to maintain. A long distance marriage has greater challenges in surviving. A military marriage is no different. As a military wife, I know how difficult it is to cultivate or maintain a marriage during periods of little or no communciation. This type of situation also leads way to feelings of lonliness and resentment and increased stress over having to take on more responsibility. With any relationship, a couple has to create various ways to nurture their relationship. No relationship can survive without putting in the work and/or effort. For long distance relationships, including military marriages, this nurturing may take a little more creativity and patience.
To deal with your periods of separation, the United States government offers support groups for the families of soldiers that are being deployed. Take advantage of these resources. Ladies, get to know other military wives who have been in the game for a while and can guide you through this new experience in your life. Be cautious of who you place your trust in, but be open to receiving the support of other happily married, experienced military wives who are not secretly desperate army housewives.
As with any long distance relationship, a military marriage must have a strong foundation of trust and security from the beginning. This goes back to knowing who you are married to. Once you know who your mate is, you know what he or she is capable of doing. With this knowledge, perhaps there will be less feelings of insecurity regarding infidelity. A very real, yet downside to this type of separation, is the fear of what may happen to your spouse while he or she is deployed. This brings about a totally different level of stress. The best suggestion I can offer for dealing with this is developing a spiritual relationship and holding on to your faith.
In July of 2011, I participated in a radio talk show discussion regarding maintaining a military marriage with The Relationship Party Radio Show in Atlanta, Ga. Please click the hyper-link to hear the discussion and post your comments on the matter to this article.
As always, be good to one another for your love is all you really have.