The questions most women have when they find out that their mate has cheated on them is, how does he feel about the other woman? Does he love her? Does he respect her? Does he feel that she is his soul mate? What does he see in her that he stopped seeing in me?
I would venture out and say that a man’s feelings about a mistress can be a front. He may think he’s in love with her and some may even hope that they are, especially if the affair has been brought to light and they have lost everything because of the relationship.
Your mate may tell you that he loves his mistress, he may say that she understands him and makes him feel special. Well that’s easy to do when you are sneaking around with someone and all of their energy is put into making you feel special and important. That kind of attention is hard to say no to.
What she is giving him is validation and reassurance, she makes him feel alive and wanted, like he doesn’t have a care in the world and he doesn’t because his relationship is based on lies, it’s not reality.
In the throes of romantic passion, it's easy to imagine running away together and living blissfully forever after. What they don’t think about is, cheating is deceptive, childish and proves that you are a coward because you would rather go behind your mates back than have a real conversation with them about the state of your relationship.
Affairs generally begin because of either self-esteem issues or because of some personal crisis, instead the dealing with the issue they run out and grab a woman with the same amount time and thought they would in picking up some takeout for dinner. The problem is, the same issues you were having in your previous relationship will surface in this one.
It’s hard enough to be in a relationship that starts off with honesty and integrity, just imagine how hard it is when it starts out with deception and lies. Where can the relationship go, how can they learn to trust each other, the answer is they can’t.
Trying to make the mistress the one is a way to try to make your relationship and your mistress relevant. How can you have a loving, healthy, long lasting relationship when you consider how the relationship started?
Once reality kicks in and you both see each other for who you really are, the magic goes away and a lot of time so does the relationship. Statistics show that the number of second marriages that end in divorce is higher than the 50 percent of first marriages that fail. Something to think about when someone decides to participate in an extramarital affair.
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