Megyn Kelly, once thought to be the smartest person at Fox News, must now renounce any claim of such after confirming that the "War on Christmas" isn't just about keeping non-Christians from celebrating anything in December.
Apparently, it's also about denying it to non-whites, per Megyn Kelly's authoritative stance on the race of a nonexistent person.
The dilemma began with an essay by Slate's Aisha Harris about the effects of cultural exclusion from such a dominant American symbol of childhood, and suggested that Santa Claus be re-imagined as a racially neutral character like the Easter Bunny to "spare millions of nonwhite kids the insecurity and shame" that she remembers from childhood.
Harris's suggestion was that Claus be re-imagined as a penguin. Which, while silly and not making much sense from a geographical perspective (penguins are only native to the South Pole), is otherwise a fair suggestion since the only way to make something truly non-racial would be to make it nonhuman.
Kelly said of the essay "I kind of laughed and I said this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa."
Actually, Harris had not suggested it was racist to have a white Santa, and instead only challenged the idea that Santa can only be white.
"For kids watching at home, Santa just is white," Kelly continued, "but this person is arguing we should have a black Santa," even though, once again, Harris's suggestion was to reinvent Santa as a penguin.
Unfortunately, this wasn't stupid enough for Megyn Kelly. She continued with this remarkable gem of idiocy:
Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too. It's like we have, he's a historical figure, as is Santa.
Ignoring the obvious can of worms one can open by debating the actual ethnicity of Christ, there is no debate about the ethnicity of Santa Claus on the simple grounds that he doesn't exist. He is as much a "historical figure" as Pinocchio, Zoth-Ommog and Thaal Sinestro.