According to the Christian Post, Mary J. Blige revealed that the tragic death of Whitney Houston made her realize it was time to face her demon of alcohol addiction. Also, she says she cannot do it alone. She turns to God for help.
Even though Blige is a born-again Christian, she has been battling alcohol addiction for the last decade.
The 42-year-old singer confessed that her alcohol addiction became worse after trying to cut back and only drink socially.
She explains:
"I chose to learn how to drink socially and it didn't work. The test comes when you have to decide whether you're drinking to be social or drinking to cover up something again. To cover up depression, to cover up guilt. Shame. Abandonment… Once I realized, 'There you go again,' I had to stop."
Blige has openly discussed on other occasions her dark past with cocaine and alcohol addiction that started when she was only 16. She rationalizes that she abused drugs and alcohol to hide her insecurities about the way she looked, being molested at 5 and experiencing an abusive relationship with a former boyfriend.
She told Black Heritage Radio:
"I used to think I was ugly. I thought I looked like a camel. A person who doesn't love themselves, they will see anything that pops up on their face. I've seen squirrels, I've seen a bird, and I've seen all kinds of animals on my face. But that is the result of self-hate. I've learned to say: 'You know what? I am a beautiful black woman'."
Because of her many insecurities, Blige said, "I really didn't care about myself. I was borderline suicidal...I was like the walking dead; just smoking and drinking and hanging."
In an interview with LA Confidential, the multi-Grammy-award winner explained that it has been hard for her to let go of the past. She has flashbacks that are prompted by simple things such as sights, sounds and various familiarities of her past.
During Blige's 21-year career, she has met many challenges to stay sober, but she is determined to become victorious with the help of God. She has been praying to God for her to forgive herself.
She concludes by saying:
"I don't know why. But I didn't want to go to rehab. I believe that anything man himself can do for me, God can do for me in a greater way. I decided to pray and to seek God on my own. I just stayed in The Word. And it worked."
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